I posted a while ago about my difficult child who refused to go to school for a variety of reasons. He is in 7th grade, just turned 13 and had never had school issues before, only at home. I won't repeat the whole history but ultimately we saw a new psychiatrist who diagnosed him with anxiety disorder, mood disorder, and adhd. Of course there is plenty of ODD in there as well. She started on some medications and gave us the letter for home tutoring. ( I don't think my signature is updated) During this time I had a 504 meeting with the school to make some changes for difficult child. Every thing was set for his return.
difficult child did great on home tutoring. Went to every session without problems ( had to go to the library), did all his work, and he got his grades back up to where they were before issues began at school ( he was an honor student). The home tutoring ended last week and difficult child was supposed to return to school today. We had meetings last week with the therapist we see and difficult child's guidance counselor. difficult child seemed eager to get back to school and his "normal life".
Last night though, difficult child started with the I can't go to school....don't want to, it's too much, don't like changing classes, too stressful, etc....same stuff we began with 8 weeks ago! He was sobbing, holding his head, taking deep breathes trying to calm himself down saying he is so stressed. No matter how much I explained to him again about the changes we set up to make things less stressful for him at school, he just said no. I woke him this morning and he refused to go! I called the school who of course as usual told me to try to get him in and keep them informed.
I called our therapist and difficult child will see him later today. I e-mailed the psychiatrist to see if we could get an extension letter for home tutoring. I am at a loss. Part of me feels he really is stuggling with the stress of a normal school day and the other side of me sees it as he just doesn't want to go because it is easier and nicer to be home. He really has no friends ( lots of aquantinces) but is very social and plays on lots of sports teams where he gets along fine with everyone.
We went thru the "take everything away" deal...no electronics, sports, etc... but it made no difference, he still wouldn't go to school. Since everything went well with tutoring and he went to the therapist and took his medications ( in the past he had always refused) I let him have his video games and computer back. Things at home have been a bit calmer too.
I just don't know where to go from here! I can't home school as I just can't do it. How long will the school provide home tutoring anyway? They are not so helpful as you can imagine. difficult child is not a behavior problem at school and is smart. So what kind of class can they put him in to alleviate this anxiety and stress? Am I doing the right things? This is all so frustrating. I am angry, scared, confused, you name it. Oh and of course husband just thinks difficult child is being his usual "i want it my way or else" so is just being defiant till he gets his way. husband is not on board with any of these diagnosis. difficult child and husband are like oil and water. If husband tries to speak with difficult child, it turns into a war. husband says difficult child should follow the rules and of course difficult child refuses. It's just a mess!! Thanks as usual for your advice and ideas.
*Jan
difficult child did great on home tutoring. Went to every session without problems ( had to go to the library), did all his work, and he got his grades back up to where they were before issues began at school ( he was an honor student). The home tutoring ended last week and difficult child was supposed to return to school today. We had meetings last week with the therapist we see and difficult child's guidance counselor. difficult child seemed eager to get back to school and his "normal life".
Last night though, difficult child started with the I can't go to school....don't want to, it's too much, don't like changing classes, too stressful, etc....same stuff we began with 8 weeks ago! He was sobbing, holding his head, taking deep breathes trying to calm himself down saying he is so stressed. No matter how much I explained to him again about the changes we set up to make things less stressful for him at school, he just said no. I woke him this morning and he refused to go! I called the school who of course as usual told me to try to get him in and keep them informed.
I called our therapist and difficult child will see him later today. I e-mailed the psychiatrist to see if we could get an extension letter for home tutoring. I am at a loss. Part of me feels he really is stuggling with the stress of a normal school day and the other side of me sees it as he just doesn't want to go because it is easier and nicer to be home. He really has no friends ( lots of aquantinces) but is very social and plays on lots of sports teams where he gets along fine with everyone.
We went thru the "take everything away" deal...no electronics, sports, etc... but it made no difference, he still wouldn't go to school. Since everything went well with tutoring and he went to the therapist and took his medications ( in the past he had always refused) I let him have his video games and computer back. Things at home have been a bit calmer too.
I just don't know where to go from here! I can't home school as I just can't do it. How long will the school provide home tutoring anyway? They are not so helpful as you can imagine. difficult child is not a behavior problem at school and is smart. So what kind of class can they put him in to alleviate this anxiety and stress? Am I doing the right things? This is all so frustrating. I am angry, scared, confused, you name it. Oh and of course husband just thinks difficult child is being his usual "i want it my way or else" so is just being defiant till he gets his way. husband is not on board with any of these diagnosis. difficult child and husband are like oil and water. If husband tries to speak with difficult child, it turns into a war. husband says difficult child should follow the rules and of course difficult child refuses. It's just a mess!! Thanks as usual for your advice and ideas.
*Jan