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What would you do differently? mini vent
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 278905" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p><em>say "NEVER again on my computer (due to pictures of naked women from My space) and then I say "Oh you need to look something up for your car? Sure." When my response should be - TOUGH - find someplace else to look it up. But at that moment I just do NOT know what invades my brain <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/alien.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":alien:" title="alien :alien:" data-shortname=":alien:" />and I find my mouth going UH HUH before my brain goes WOAH now - wasn't it just three months ago you said NO computer? </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Then I think a part of my brain in the farthest non-detached places thinks "Well look - he's got a job now, a car now, he's being a decent person 80% of the time, he's trying to do things right." and that farthest part says - SO big deal LET him use that computer - right - it's to better himself. And that part nags me and says - "You're going to mess it all up if you ........" and I KNOW better - but like I said I get caught off guard. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><span style="color: purple">Man, do I know that scene. Happens all the time with me and difficult child 2. I want so badly to encourage the good behavior and give him a chance to prove himself, and then he goes and does something that makes me look like an absolute fool. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #800080">I think the annoyance you were feeling when he took advantage of your computer and personal space is telling you that you know where your limits are, and he won't be able to do that again because the next time he mentions that he needs to look something up on the computer or use DF's tools for his car you will remember how you felt cleaning up after an 18 yr old. It's bogus.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #800080">It's hard to break these deeply ingrained patterns. At least you are noticiing it yourself with-o having to have someone else point it out. that's progress, ain't it?</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 278905, member: 5941"] [I]say "NEVER again on my computer (due to pictures of naked women from My space) and then I say "Oh you need to look something up for your car? Sure." When my response should be - TOUGH - find someplace else to look it up. But at that moment I just do NOT know what invades my brain :alien:and I find my mouth going UH HUH before my brain goes WOAH now - wasn't it just three months ago you said NO computer? Then I think a part of my brain in the farthest non-detached places thinks "Well look - he's got a job now, a car now, he's being a decent person 80% of the time, he's trying to do things right." and that farthest part says - SO big deal LET him use that computer - right - it's to better himself. And that part nags me and says - "You're going to mess it all up if you ........" and I KNOW better - but like I said I get caught off guard. [/I] [COLOR=purple]Man, do I know that scene. Happens all the time with me and difficult child 2. I want so badly to encourage the good behavior and give him a chance to prove himself, and then he goes and does something that makes me look like an absolute fool. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080][/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]I think the annoyance you were feeling when he took advantage of your computer and personal space is telling you that you know where your limits are, and he won't be able to do that again because the next time he mentions that he needs to look something up on the computer or use DF's tools for his car you will remember how you felt cleaning up after an 18 yr old. It's bogus.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080][/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]It's hard to break these deeply ingrained patterns. At least you are noticiing it yourself with-o having to have someone else point it out. that's progress, ain't it?[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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