WOW! DD1 to a T. She's been in boredom mode for 2 months and 20 days. Yes, she's been diverted/distracted quite a few times in that time period, but not a single one of those days has gone by where she hasn't uttered the *B* word.
Fortunately, I have the provocation issue under control - to a degree at least. Kids will always bug and tease each other, and I taught the 3 of mine that as long as it's 'friendly' I would let it be, BUT they all have to watch for clues from each other as to when they were pushing it to far. Facial expressions, tone of voice, body tensing up. This was especially difficult for son, but also a wonderful training experience for him. I also taught them that when one said NO or STOP, then they had to respect that person's limit. They still each push to extremes on occasion, but I very RARELY have to intervene in a kid 'argument' any more.
I did notice yesterday that she seemed to be more TRYING to engage her brother. Was even more obvious today. I was just happy that is wasn't the constant whining at me about that dreaded *B* word. But again, whatever provocation there is stays 'friendly'. DD1 will disengage if son calls a limit.
I found the article's suggestions at the end absolutely USELESS because I AM THERE AND AM DOING THAT. This is why i enrolled her in summer camp 2 years ago. One person is just simply NOT ENOUGH to keep her entertained.
I find myself hoping that the Abilify is causing some of this, but then remember that this was one of my first really serious concerns with her before we started using any medications. Shoot! Her brother was twice her age, and had never even uttered the *B* word.
So no, I don't have any solutions for you because I'm still figuring it out for DD1, I have no clue how this would translate to your husband. I can say that this almost never happened when DD1 was on Welbutrin (at least not to a noticeable annoying degree) I think we'll be going back to that If she still needs medications.
PS DD1 is NOT officially BiPolar (BP) she does not meet the time criteria or traditional definitions for mania or even hypomania.