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What's been your hardest day?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 577720" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>WTW, your inquiry is a provocative one. I've had so many hard days with my difficult child, starting with her being 2 years old and having a severe asthma attack and the Dr's in the hospital telling me her heart couldn't take it and she wouldn't live through the night. I sat with another woman in the parents lounge and made every promise to God I could think of. And, now, her being in the life she leads and knowing there is nothing I can do to pull her out of it. And all the points in between which represent my deep understanding that I have no power to control any of it. </p><p></p><p>That helplessness you mentioned, that's the hardest part for me, the sheer powerlessness to enact any change, to prevent the hurt or damage, to stop the inevitable, to help my child. I couldn't have stopped death had it marched in and taken her all those years ago. I can't now march into her life and whisk her out and make her happy. </p><p></p><p>That powerlessness, that remarkable lack of any control is monumentally hard to really get. My will and my love and my determination don't work. Letting go of that has been quite the journey. Those feelings that come up as a result of realizing that lack of control are formidable. </p><p></p><p>I understand what you are saying. Those feelings of helplessness are hard to tolerate, but ultimately offer acceptance. You're a wise woman WTW, you articulate it all very well and you have the ability to uncover the truth which I believe will truly set you free. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 577720, member: 13542"] WTW, your inquiry is a provocative one. I've had so many hard days with my difficult child, starting with her being 2 years old and having a severe asthma attack and the Dr's in the hospital telling me her heart couldn't take it and she wouldn't live through the night. I sat with another woman in the parents lounge and made every promise to God I could think of. And, now, her being in the life she leads and knowing there is nothing I can do to pull her out of it. And all the points in between which represent my deep understanding that I have no power to control any of it. That helplessness you mentioned, that's the hardest part for me, the sheer powerlessness to enact any change, to prevent the hurt or damage, to stop the inevitable, to help my child. I couldn't have stopped death had it marched in and taken her all those years ago. I can't now march into her life and whisk her out and make her happy. That powerlessness, that remarkable lack of any control is monumentally hard to really get. My will and my love and my determination don't work. Letting go of that has been quite the journey. Those feelings that come up as a result of realizing that lack of control are formidable. I understand what you are saying. Those feelings of helplessness are hard to tolerate, but ultimately offer acceptance. You're a wise woman WTW, you articulate it all very well and you have the ability to uncover the truth which I believe will truly set you free. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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What's been your hardest day?
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