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Whatwould you help with and what Occupational Therapist (OT)....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 480482" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>We had to decide this last spring when difficult child moved out and then called for help. We had decided we would only help with treatment and even that we could/would only pay for a sober house. If she wanted/needed a treatment facility she would have to find someplace that took clients on a sliding fee. We had just paid $25,000 and had no more to give. We would do everything in our power to get her to treatment because we wanted her to know that that is what we supported, her getting better.</p><p></p><p>The lawyer is a tough one, husband had said we would not pay for one, yet I know in the end he probably would because he is one and has seen too many times what happens when you don't have one. He may let the public defender get involved first but I think in the end he would pay for one. Not completely sure on that, but we would not jump in and do it right away.</p><p></p><p>#5 is a given..... NO NO NO Money for anything other than treatment.</p><p></p><p>#6 is another given.....get him help, even if it's just to call police. difficult child has often threatened suicide when she's using. Once she called and said she was walking down the street and if we didn't pick her up she was jumping in front of a car. We didn't pick her up. Right or wrong we were done with her threats. We told her we loved her and hoped she wouldn't do that but she is the one who left so if was up to her to walk or find a ride. This was a very different place from where she is now, she was actively using and out of control. If she called now threatening to hurt herself we would pull out all stops to get her help.</p><p></p><p>I do the same as you do, try to cover all scenarios. But keep it simple to him, let him know you will help him get treatment but that's all. No money will be given to him directly for anything. YOur main concern is his welfare, not enabling him to use. I believe when we were very clear about what we would and would not help with, difficult child became more focused on what she had to do. We told her to tell us when she was swerious about getting help and then we would be there to support her. </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child is very foolish to think the small amount of money he has from this plane ticket will last very long. And his girlfriend has no idea what she has done. Once again our difficult children live for the moment.</p><p></p><p>His calling you for help is not necessarily a bad thing. We want our difficult child to know we love her and will help her if she is helping herself and doing the right thing. We want her to know that she always has someone in this world that she can call if she's in trouble and wants help. While that makes for anxious moments at times, she is too fragile to have to rely solely on herself. She hasn't been making good decisions long enough to have it become who she is yet. But we will not help her if she is living a life of drug/alcohol use and involved in illegal activities.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 480482, member: 59"] We had to decide this last spring when difficult child moved out and then called for help. We had decided we would only help with treatment and even that we could/would only pay for a sober house. If she wanted/needed a treatment facility she would have to find someplace that took clients on a sliding fee. We had just paid $25,000 and had no more to give. We would do everything in our power to get her to treatment because we wanted her to know that that is what we supported, her getting better. The lawyer is a tough one, husband had said we would not pay for one, yet I know in the end he probably would because he is one and has seen too many times what happens when you don't have one. He may let the public defender get involved first but I think in the end he would pay for one. Not completely sure on that, but we would not jump in and do it right away. #5 is a given..... NO NO NO Money for anything other than treatment. #6 is another given.....get him help, even if it's just to call police. difficult child has often threatened suicide when she's using. Once she called and said she was walking down the street and if we didn't pick her up she was jumping in front of a car. We didn't pick her up. Right or wrong we were done with her threats. We told her we loved her and hoped she wouldn't do that but she is the one who left so if was up to her to walk or find a ride. This was a very different place from where she is now, she was actively using and out of control. If she called now threatening to hurt herself we would pull out all stops to get her help. I do the same as you do, try to cover all scenarios. But keep it simple to him, let him know you will help him get treatment but that's all. No money will be given to him directly for anything. YOur main concern is his welfare, not enabling him to use. I believe when we were very clear about what we would and would not help with, difficult child became more focused on what she had to do. We told her to tell us when she was swerious about getting help and then we would be there to support her. Your difficult child is very foolish to think the small amount of money he has from this plane ticket will last very long. And his girlfriend has no idea what she has done. Once again our difficult children live for the moment. His calling you for help is not necessarily a bad thing. We want our difficult child to know we love her and will help her if she is helping herself and doing the right thing. We want her to know that she always has someone in this world that she can call if she's in trouble and wants help. While that makes for anxious moments at times, she is too fragile to have to rely solely on herself. She hasn't been making good decisions long enough to have it become who she is yet. But we will not help her if she is living a life of drug/alcohol use and involved in illegal activities. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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