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Whatwould you help with and what Occupational Therapist (OT)....
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 480576" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Ok, we all know that I am jumping in from dealing with a child that was doing criminal acts which would lead him to call me needing help with lawyers and such instead of substance abuse but at that point I am not sure it makes much difference. </p><p></p><p>I didnt have the option of hiring a lawyer because none of us make enough money. Cory always just applied for and was appointed a court appointed attorney. </p><p></p><p>I only helped with bail when I was using his money. I did sign my name on it because he needed someone older. I did know he wouldnt run. That wasnt a fear of mine. If it had been, I would never have done it. Ive never put my house or car up. </p><p></p><p>Now I did always put money on his accounts except for one 30 day period when we had had a huge blow up before he went in and I wasnt speaking to him at all. I dont know if his father did or not. Im sure Mandy did. </p><p></p><p>One thing to remember too is that when they are adults you dont get a whole lot of input with their lawyers. Their lawyers are for them, not the parents. The only reason I got to talk to Cory's lawyer when he was arrested for forging my checks was because it was a crime against me. Then I was also able to talk to the DA too so I was able to work out the best deal we could get for him as long as I got him to sit silently...lol. I did all the leg work. He just had to stand up and say Yes Sir to the judge on command. </p><p></p><p>As far as a bus, I guess I am assuming this place is a bit of a drive away from you. Bus is going to mean he will need either a packed lunch or a way to get something to eat and drink along the way, do remember that. Also means he could get off anywhere along the way. </p><p></p><p>As far as paying for the room at the sober house. With you there. If the people there cant or wont do the handling of the money for food and necessities, I would go for something like a grocery store card. Find out what is the closest grocery store to the sober house and get a card for that place. See if you can renew it online. Or...call and see if he is eligible for food stamps while in a sober house. He may be. That would help. </p><p></p><p>Speaking of being in the house...does your son have any skills to help him start getting a job to move forward in life? Things that will make him feel better about himself? I truly feel that all this not working for a man, even one at 19/20, really makes them feel poorly about themselves. The more that they can see themselves supporting themselves and not having someone else doing it, the more they will feel a sense of pride which carries over into all areas of their lives. </p><p></p><p>Is there any chance that while he is in the sober house he could work on some sort of tech school or trade school for something he could do relatively fast? Maybe a certificate program.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 480576, member: 1514"] Ok, we all know that I am jumping in from dealing with a child that was doing criminal acts which would lead him to call me needing help with lawyers and such instead of substance abuse but at that point I am not sure it makes much difference. I didnt have the option of hiring a lawyer because none of us make enough money. Cory always just applied for and was appointed a court appointed attorney. I only helped with bail when I was using his money. I did sign my name on it because he needed someone older. I did know he wouldnt run. That wasnt a fear of mine. If it had been, I would never have done it. Ive never put my house or car up. Now I did always put money on his accounts except for one 30 day period when we had had a huge blow up before he went in and I wasnt speaking to him at all. I dont know if his father did or not. Im sure Mandy did. One thing to remember too is that when they are adults you dont get a whole lot of input with their lawyers. Their lawyers are for them, not the parents. The only reason I got to talk to Cory's lawyer when he was arrested for forging my checks was because it was a crime against me. Then I was also able to talk to the DA too so I was able to work out the best deal we could get for him as long as I got him to sit silently...lol. I did all the leg work. He just had to stand up and say Yes Sir to the judge on command. As far as a bus, I guess I am assuming this place is a bit of a drive away from you. Bus is going to mean he will need either a packed lunch or a way to get something to eat and drink along the way, do remember that. Also means he could get off anywhere along the way. As far as paying for the room at the sober house. With you there. If the people there cant or wont do the handling of the money for food and necessities, I would go for something like a grocery store card. Find out what is the closest grocery store to the sober house and get a card for that place. See if you can renew it online. Or...call and see if he is eligible for food stamps while in a sober house. He may be. That would help. Speaking of being in the house...does your son have any skills to help him start getting a job to move forward in life? Things that will make him feel better about himself? I truly feel that all this not working for a man, even one at 19/20, really makes them feel poorly about themselves. The more that they can see themselves supporting themselves and not having someone else doing it, the more they will feel a sense of pride which carries over into all areas of their lives. Is there any chance that while he is in the sober house he could work on some sort of tech school or trade school for something he could do relatively fast? Maybe a certificate program. [/QUOTE]
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