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When it Rains, it Pours
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 764539" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Thank you all for your kind advice and comforting words. I do feel the wagons circling but have limited time to reply in depth. Yesterday my #2 daughter went to visit Rain. She said that Rain told her she knows she is getting older and can’t keep living the way she has. She expressed fears that the docs were talking about releasing her today, her leg still swollen and painful and suffering severe headaches. This is different than her usual drive to get out of the hospital and back “out there”. I know it is just words, that if she were better, would she be of the same mind? Of course, as you mentioned Copa, my first inclination as a “delusional mother” was to bring her home. We had a family “phone meeting” , discussing options. Hoku, in all of her wisdom reminded us of the uncertainties of that, that we should explore other solutions first. The least I can do is visit Rain and let her know we are here for her. Also, I am going to visit and see where she is at today, ask if she will give consent for the docs to speak with me. I called the nurses station yesterday and filled them in on Rains situation. She was emphatic and said that a social worker will be called in to assess and assist and that the discharge team will discuss plans. Of course she added that Rain was coherent and compliant, that ultimately the decision is hers. I said at best, if she could be released to a facility, whether shelter or rehab, she would stand a fighting chance. That is up to her choice, and availability of space.</p><p>I called Tornado to fill her in, and was quite surprised with her response. She said “Mom, she will do what she wants, as far as I see, she is not ready. She is really attached to her boyfriend and the lifestyle. What I have learned is that active addiction will lead us to loss of family, relationships, health, and eventually, death. Unfortunately we cannot make anyone choose better.”</p><p>I expected her to say “Just bring her home mom”</p><p>Huh.</p><p>I told her that I know it is up to Rain to choose better. That the best thing for her would be to get into a rehab, where like Tornado is learning there is professional help and support to guide her. Tornado agreed. But, also reminded me that I can’t make that choice for her.</p><p>So there is a glimmer of light shining there for Tornado, coupled with concern for Rain. The least I can do is visit and offer medical advocacy if she chooses. </p><p>I have a busy morning dropping off kids to school and dentist appointment, then head to the hospital, if Rain is still there. </p><p>I’ll update you guys later on. I am stepping into this with trepidation, but know that my heart could not handle doing nothing. I have to remind myself of boundaries and possible outcomes. I have to somehow find peace within, even through this latest storm.</p><p>Thank you all so very much for your support.</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 764539, member: 19522"] Thank you all for your kind advice and comforting words. I do feel the wagons circling but have limited time to reply in depth. Yesterday my #2 daughter went to visit Rain. She said that Rain told her she knows she is getting older and can’t keep living the way she has. She expressed fears that the docs were talking about releasing her today, her leg still swollen and painful and suffering severe headaches. This is different than her usual drive to get out of the hospital and back “out there”. I know it is just words, that if she were better, would she be of the same mind? Of course, as you mentioned Copa, my first inclination as a “delusional mother” was to bring her home. We had a family “phone meeting” , discussing options. Hoku, in all of her wisdom reminded us of the uncertainties of that, that we should explore other solutions first. The least I can do is visit Rain and let her know we are here for her. Also, I am going to visit and see where she is at today, ask if she will give consent for the docs to speak with me. I called the nurses station yesterday and filled them in on Rains situation. She was emphatic and said that a social worker will be called in to assess and assist and that the discharge team will discuss plans. Of course she added that Rain was coherent and compliant, that ultimately the decision is hers. I said at best, if she could be released to a facility, whether shelter or rehab, she would stand a fighting chance. That is up to her choice, and availability of space. I called Tornado to fill her in, and was quite surprised with her response. She said “Mom, she will do what she wants, as far as I see, she is not ready. She is really attached to her boyfriend and the lifestyle. What I have learned is that active addiction will lead us to loss of family, relationships, health, and eventually, death. Unfortunately we cannot make anyone choose better.” I expected her to say “Just bring her home mom” Huh. I told her that I know it is up to Rain to choose better. That the best thing for her would be to get into a rehab, where like Tornado is learning there is professional help and support to guide her. Tornado agreed. But, also reminded me that I can’t make that choice for her. So there is a glimmer of light shining there for Tornado, coupled with concern for Rain. The least I can do is visit and offer medical advocacy if she chooses. I have a busy morning dropping off kids to school and dentist appointment, then head to the hospital, if Rain is still there. I’ll update you guys later on. I am stepping into this with trepidation, but know that my heart could not handle doing nothing. I have to remind myself of boundaries and possible outcomes. I have to somehow find peace within, even through this latest storm. Thank you all so very much for your support. Leaf [/QUOTE]
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