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When it Rains, it Pours
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764619" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I know my son wants part of the life I want for him. The part he wants is comfort and safety and refuge and support. The thing is, he wants it on his terms. His terms are either that we accept him as he is, and impose his way of life on us, or he wants shelter when his way doesn't work. This is to say, his money is gone and he has nothing to eat, no money for cigarettes, and he is cold and wet. </p><p></p><p>Neither Plan A nor Plan B works for us. </p><p></p><p>But the thing is, these are relationships we have with our children that are lifelong and perhaps, go to eternity. And as much as relationships with our kids, we have relationships with ourselves and with our lives. </p><p></p><p>I for one, do not want to retreat into a corner and make my son the bad guy. He is not the bad guy. He is my son. And I am his mother.</p><p></p><p>Yes. The back and forth costs us, and in so many ways harms us. But it also grows us. Teaches us. Humbles us. Being worn down and breaking is not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Because sometimes breaking down is a breakthrough. Sometimes being broken lets something more vital take seed. Sometimes being broken down can be a way to heal more strongly and differently. </p><p></p><p>There is no one size fits. Not between us. And sometimes we as individuals outgrow old styles and sizes. All of it is okay. </p><p></p><p>I am grateful for this site and for each of you, to help me grow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764619, member: 18958"] I know my son wants part of the life I want for him. The part he wants is comfort and safety and refuge and support. The thing is, he wants it on his terms. His terms are either that we accept him as he is, and impose his way of life on us, or he wants shelter when his way doesn't work. This is to say, his money is gone and he has nothing to eat, no money for cigarettes, and he is cold and wet. Neither Plan A nor Plan B works for us. But the thing is, these are relationships we have with our children that are lifelong and perhaps, go to eternity. And as much as relationships with our kids, we have relationships with ourselves and with our lives. I for one, do not want to retreat into a corner and make my son the bad guy. He is not the bad guy. He is my son. And I am his mother. Yes. The back and forth costs us, and in so many ways harms us. But it also grows us. Teaches us. Humbles us. Being worn down and breaking is not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Because sometimes breaking down is a breakthrough. Sometimes being broken lets something more vital take seed. Sometimes being broken down can be a way to heal more strongly and differently. There is no one size fits. Not between us. And sometimes we as individuals outgrow old styles and sizes. All of it is okay. I am grateful for this site and for each of you, to help me grow. [/QUOTE]
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