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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656479" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I like that idea. All my letter could say would be "Miss you. Wish I had a freaking family. Wish you were kind and wise like Maya Angelou and I was, too. Then, I would know how to do this, and I would only want you, not need you. Life has been a harder thing than it might have been, because you did what you did every time, over time. I wish with all my heart that you'd been there when I needed a mother. I am better at it than you, but I still have so many questions and no one who is my own mother to ask. Hate you for what you cost me, for what something so stupid as whatever warped you this way cost all of us." Goofy stuff like that. Ha! Maybe I would say, "Who did you think <em>you</em> were?", beating and justifying beating, <em>your own children</em>. And maybe, that would be a good thing. To watch the letter go up in smoke and declare freedom even from what is left.</p><p></p><p>It has been a hard thing, to reclaim myself. I am savoring the truth of that. No letter, yet. Maybe to that first therapist. But even there, what could I say that hasn't already been written into poetry? That I lived, I suppose.</p><p></p><p>That I did make it, and am approaching strong and whole at warp speed.</p><p></p><p>He would be happy for me about that. He set me on this path, and here I am. </p><p></p><p>Ritual is a good way to mark the time; a good way to believe and declare that we intend to live free of any kind of purposeless pain. That we will entertain only valid teachings; that we will recognize, every time it comes to us, that the negativity we were raised to believe was wrong then and is old wrongness now, and can be safely discarded. Maybe, we could envision those old negative messages as having been printed into words in an old book, into a kind of ledger where, identified and trapped on paper now, they can be examined safely and turned into legend, into something that never was. </p><p></p><p>We could speak our intention to live our lives openly, joyously, lovingly, intelligently, prosperously, generously, kindly, powerfully without secrets or shame.</p><p></p><p>It's been good to have you to go through this part with, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>I think we are doing this.</p><p></p><p>We are actually healing. I can feel the difference, can feel an underlying lightness of being ~ just as they tell us will happen as we heal. </p><p></p><p>I am so happy for us both. </p><p></p><p>One thousand thanks, SWOT. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656479, member: 17461"] I like that idea. All my letter could say would be "Miss you. Wish I had a freaking family. Wish you were kind and wise like Maya Angelou and I was, too. Then, I would know how to do this, and I would only want you, not need you. Life has been a harder thing than it might have been, because you did what you did every time, over time. I wish with all my heart that you'd been there when I needed a mother. I am better at it than you, but I still have so many questions and no one who is my own mother to ask. Hate you for what you cost me, for what something so stupid as whatever warped you this way cost all of us." Goofy stuff like that. Ha! Maybe I would say, "Who did you think [I]you[/I] were?", beating and justifying beating, [I]your own children[/I]. And maybe, that would be a good thing. To watch the letter go up in smoke and declare freedom even from what is left. It has been a hard thing, to reclaim myself. I am savoring the truth of that. No letter, yet. Maybe to that first therapist. But even there, what could I say that hasn't already been written into poetry? That I lived, I suppose. That I did make it, and am approaching strong and whole at warp speed. He would be happy for me about that. He set me on this path, and here I am. Ritual is a good way to mark the time; a good way to believe and declare that we intend to live free of any kind of purposeless pain. That we will entertain only valid teachings; that we will recognize, every time it comes to us, that the negativity we were raised to believe was wrong then and is old wrongness now, and can be safely discarded. Maybe, we could envision those old negative messages as having been printed into words in an old book, into a kind of ledger where, identified and trapped on paper now, they can be examined safely and turned into legend, into something that never was. We could speak our intention to live our lives openly, joyously, lovingly, intelligently, prosperously, generously, kindly, powerfully without secrets or shame. It's been good to have you to go through this part with, SWOT. I think we are doing this. We are actually healing. I can feel the difference, can feel an underlying lightness of being ~ just as they tell us will happen as we heal. I am so happy for us both. One thousand thanks, SWOT. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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