I think groups are amazing when people are suffering. We get to hear, in a private way, how others feel about the same issues we are going through. Heck, I was shocked that six other women understood my situation with my mother and siblings and them not buying my view of reality. They all, every one, agreed that their siblings, who were not abused, did not lived the same type of abuse that they did. Many were no contact with their siblings and mothers on purpose. Stupid me. I kept trying to make them LIKE me, but that was at a time when going no contact with your own mother labeled you a horrific person. Three of the women were my age. WE spoke about life long triggers and how to deal with them. Was very helpful not to feel alone. WE also discussed how we are usually tossed out of the family for making choices the family didn't like, whether it was speaking out about family secrets, living life in a way t hey thought was wrong, deciding not to divide $5000 of inheritance from grandma to only and that often one child becomes the scapegoat. My facilitatior made me laugh when she asked, "You sure your mother wasn't borderline?" No, I don't know or care. We covered a lot in an hour and a half.I heard many stories, some worse than mine, some just like mine. I left the meeting feeling validated and understood, which is what we all need. I also left with Mother's voices of "you're stupid" "you're lazy" "you're no good" "you never do anything right" out of my head. And I actually laughed when I told the group how my sister wrote that I had NPT/Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Ok I have been told by my therapist I may have "a few" (her words) Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) traits that I control well, but NPD???? That isn't me at all. I'm the last person who wants to be the center of attention, I don't give a f**** how I look, and the world revolves around everyone else EXCEPT me. If anything I am codependent. So, she can say and think what se likes. I don't care now. Brother? Who cares what his issues are. I also got to learn that most people in the group do not have good made families, like me. The faciliator has a great boyfriend and young son. I have a great husband and great kids. Everyone else is still struggling with being alone. Thank God my FOO did not do that to me. They would have liked it, but it didn't happen. The other two are alone. I'm going back every week so I don't forget to think about those who deserve my time and to remember I am blessed. Those of you wondering if you should go to groups, like Al-Anon or Abuse Groups, if you are ok with listneing (you are not forced to share) you may just learn that you are not alone and you may walk out of there feeling much better. I know I do. Ok, just FYI!