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General Parenting
When they have to be hospitilized
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 295429" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Sorry that you are going thru this but as you can see alot of us have had similar issues and many times choices other than hospitalization resulted in a functional child. Based on over forty years experience with difficult children, I think there are a number of steps I'd suggest. First and foremost I would suggest that you arrange to be totally alone at a library, at a park or even sitting in your car safely in a parking lot. No phones. No husband. No sounds from the kids. </p><p> </p><p>Take a notebook and make a list:</p><p>1. Do I have a record of difficult children behavior patterns? When did signs begin?</p><p>2. What outside help have I used? Pediatrician? Therapist? Psychiatrist</p><p>3. Did the birth of the sibling change his attitude?</p><p>4. Do husband and I discipline in the same way?</p><p>5. Do we have a regular schedule for meals, bath, play, bed?</p><p>6. Does he behave for others (Grandparents? Friends?)</p><p>7. What does HE say about his temper?</p><p>8. Do we avoid artificial colors, additives, ingredients?</p><p>9. Where is the closest child psyciatrist or neuropsychologist? Can we afford to take him?</p><p>10. Who prescribed the medication and dosages that we are using? Is that person "fully" qualified to prescribe psychiatric medications?</p><p> </p><p>Very often (yes, in my own case back in the 60's) parenting styles get confused when there are multiple preschool children even when they are all aok. When one child has a problem it can spill over into a chaotic household. "Back in the day" my Ex and I had three preschool kids and we really tried our best....but....we were not on the same page (neither of us knew what to do, truthfully). If you feel overwhelmed and inadequate I want to assure you MOST of us have been there done that.</p><p> </p><p>Analyze what you have done so far. Analyze what your daily lifestyle is like for all of you. Analyze whether you have found the "best" medical advise (Children's Hospitals are usually ideal). Seek that "best".</p><p> </p><p>In your home a reduction in noise (we, lol, were rock & roll fans and the music was often too loud for difficult child although we didn't realize it), the turning off of the TV, the addition of a healthful snack, a change in mealtime, a change in nap time, an extra bubble bath, a shared storybook or game can really help. medications alone won't do it. It's a complicated road when you have a difficult child but you are wise to seek advise now. You've found a great place full of caring people who will support you. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 295429, member: 35"] Sorry that you are going thru this but as you can see alot of us have had similar issues and many times choices other than hospitalization resulted in a functional child. Based on over forty years experience with difficult children, I think there are a number of steps I'd suggest. First and foremost I would suggest that you arrange to be totally alone at a library, at a park or even sitting in your car safely in a parking lot. No phones. No husband. No sounds from the kids. Take a notebook and make a list: 1. Do I have a record of difficult children behavior patterns? When did signs begin? 2. What outside help have I used? Pediatrician? Therapist? Psychiatrist 3. Did the birth of the sibling change his attitude? 4. Do husband and I discipline in the same way? 5. Do we have a regular schedule for meals, bath, play, bed? 6. Does he behave for others (Grandparents? Friends?) 7. What does HE say about his temper? 8. Do we avoid artificial colors, additives, ingredients? 9. Where is the closest child psyciatrist or neuropsychologist? Can we afford to take him? 10. Who prescribed the medication and dosages that we are using? Is that person "fully" qualified to prescribe psychiatric medications? Very often (yes, in my own case back in the 60's) parenting styles get confused when there are multiple preschool children even when they are all aok. When one child has a problem it can spill over into a chaotic household. "Back in the day" my Ex and I had three preschool kids and we really tried our best....but....we were not on the same page (neither of us knew what to do, truthfully). If you feel overwhelmed and inadequate I want to assure you MOST of us have been there done that. Analyze what you have done so far. Analyze what your daily lifestyle is like for all of you. Analyze whether you have found the "best" medical advise (Children's Hospitals are usually ideal). Seek that "best". In your home a reduction in noise (we, lol, were rock & roll fans and the music was often too loud for difficult child although we didn't realize it), the turning off of the TV, the addition of a healthful snack, a change in mealtime, a change in nap time, an extra bubble bath, a shared storybook or game can really help. medications alone won't do it. It's a complicated road when you have a difficult child but you are wise to seek advise now. You've found a great place full of caring people who will support you. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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