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When will I learn, to just zip it???
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 105090" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you move, your child will (hopefully) be better off. She will be away from a teacher that is giving her a hard time. </p><p></p><p>BUT - your child will be feeling better because she escaped. You do not want to set up a future coping strategy where she deals with difficult situations by leaving. While it is a good strategy AT TIMES, you DO need to learn to deal with problems APPROPRIATELY.</p><p></p><p>And even if in this case it is YOU dealing with it, if you stay and the teacher goes (or learns to moderate her behaviour to something more appropriate) then your child will learn how to be strong.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes it is the right thing to walk away, and sometimes it's worth having a go at standing your ground.</p><p></p><p>To stand your ground effectively and appropriately, you need to put your concerns in writing and address them to the Principal. You've already communicated to the teacher and she hasn't seen fit to change her attitude based on the new information you gave her. So it's time to go over her head.</p><p></p><p>But put it in writing (try to stay calm) and ask for a response, promptly, in writing. Also ask for a meeting. If you have other parents backing you up with similar problems, then work as a team. And never lose sight of your aim - you want the problem to stop. This doesn't necessarily mean a person has to lose her job - if she can change and do the right thing by the children, then not only have you won for your child, but you have won for all the children this woman will teach in the future. You will also have won for the school and the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) attitude because they will realise you are not just trying to make trouble, you are trying to have a serious concern properly addressed (in other words, you are doing their job) and that parents WILL take this sort of action if they don't so their job. So the SD will learn.</p><p></p><p>And above all, your child will learn - how to stand up for herself appropriately, she will learn that she is valued (worth fighting for), she is believed, and she will learn that you care about her, enough to do this. She will also learn to feel strong and not always hide when life gets tough.</p><p></p><p>If you do all this and it doesn't work, THEN you can leave, knowing you tried. If, after all your efforts, they do not accept the need for change, then you can leave knowing that any problems are not your fault.</p><p></p><p>I've done both these things. It's amazing what you can change when you try, and it's amazing how many grateful people come out of the woodwork. And it's also good to take a big breath of fresh air in a new place, after you did all you could and then chose to walk away knowing you tried your best.</p><p></p><p>If my child were in a class like this and witnessing this sort of institutionalised bullying, I would like to think that other parents (not just me) would fight it. Even the easy child kids witnessing this - it's very unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 105090, member: 1991"] If you move, your child will (hopefully) be better off. She will be away from a teacher that is giving her a hard time. BUT - your child will be feeling better because she escaped. You do not want to set up a future coping strategy where she deals with difficult situations by leaving. While it is a good strategy AT TIMES, you DO need to learn to deal with problems APPROPRIATELY. And even if in this case it is YOU dealing with it, if you stay and the teacher goes (or learns to moderate her behaviour to something more appropriate) then your child will learn how to be strong. Sometimes it is the right thing to walk away, and sometimes it's worth having a go at standing your ground. To stand your ground effectively and appropriately, you need to put your concerns in writing and address them to the Principal. You've already communicated to the teacher and she hasn't seen fit to change her attitude based on the new information you gave her. So it's time to go over her head. But put it in writing (try to stay calm) and ask for a response, promptly, in writing. Also ask for a meeting. If you have other parents backing you up with similar problems, then work as a team. And never lose sight of your aim - you want the problem to stop. This doesn't necessarily mean a person has to lose her job - if she can change and do the right thing by the children, then not only have you won for your child, but you have won for all the children this woman will teach in the future. You will also have won for the school and the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) attitude because they will realise you are not just trying to make trouble, you are trying to have a serious concern properly addressed (in other words, you are doing their job) and that parents WILL take this sort of action if they don't so their job. So the SD will learn. And above all, your child will learn - how to stand up for herself appropriately, she will learn that she is valued (worth fighting for), she is believed, and she will learn that you care about her, enough to do this. She will also learn to feel strong and not always hide when life gets tough. If you do all this and it doesn't work, THEN you can leave, knowing you tried. If, after all your efforts, they do not accept the need for change, then you can leave knowing that any problems are not your fault. I've done both these things. It's amazing what you can change when you try, and it's amazing how many grateful people come out of the woodwork. And it's also good to take a big breath of fresh air in a new place, after you did all you could and then chose to walk away knowing you tried your best. If my child were in a class like this and witnessing this sort of institutionalised bullying, I would like to think that other parents (not just me) would fight it. Even the easy child kids witnessing this - it's very unhealthy. Marg [/QUOTE]
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