Tina,
I have one sister. I have one niece. I have my Mom, DF, and that's it.
My sister makes great money. She forgets her only nephew every year and that's for birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, Three Kings Day, Thanksgiving, Kwanza, Memorial Day, St. Pat's Day, Valentines Day, Easter, Labor Day, Roshashana, New Years, Forth of July, and most recently Yom Kippur.
I mentioned I have only one sister, and she makes great money right? Right- all the more-so for HER to keep it to herself. She should spend it on things she wants, not on her only sister or nephew. She has tons of parties; we're never invited. She goes on trips; we never get a postcard. Once we DID get a fridge magnet!! She had pictures of my niece taken for school, I never get one. I did get a copy of a scanned picture my Mom sent me so Id be able to recognize her when we came home for Christmas to see (MY MOM) family.
And I say to you: I've sent her and my niece a card, a gift, an invitation for every holiday get together and my niece is 14. I send my sister a card every holiday too. And you know what? I never get even so much as a phone call. But I do what makes me happy and will continue to do so until it does NOT make me happy despite the fact that strangers know more about my niece than I do. Her choice - she's missing out on a wild and crazy auntie.
The most recent slap was the fact that (this is not a joke) we went home for Christmas and my son could not WAIT I mean jumping out of his skin to walk 7 houses down from my Mom's to see his favorite aunt. He walked up on the porch, knocked on the door; my sister answered with cell phone in her hand yack yack, and looked my son dead in the eyes and said "Hold on (in a disgusted tone to the caller on the other end) Listen son, I'm not buying any of what you're selling, don't come back." and with that slammed the door in his face. Five minutes went by and my son walked back to his grandmas all "hang dog" like and we encouraged him to go back saying she just didn't recognize him. So he did, and this time she ripped the door open, nearly tore it off the hinges and screamed "LISTEN JERK get off my porch or I'll call the cops." and with that he said "You'd do that to your only nephew? Aunt XX it's me Dude."
- Talk about feeling unwanted. With this knowledge of course she laughed it off and drove him to my Moms to see us or just to get him out of her house. I said "Don't you open your mail? I've sent your pictures of how much he's grown." and she had no excuse, but (long story short)
My niece thanked me and my son for remembering HER and her Mom and ALWAYS sending cards.
So this year for Christmas I'm sending my niece a card, and I've told my sister for other reasons (another story to be heard later) that I don't want her to spend HER money on us this year. Just keep it and get herself something. She was VERY pleased. And so, (la la la lah lah lahhhhhhhh) am I.
We don't get to pick our families - but we can choose to further our heartache if we don't learn to detach. Next year there will be no cards and no presents AND no phone calls. Family or not - I'm done with her taking up time in my head because she's who she is. She doesn't get to rent that space.
And as far as your step mom? OH my GOSH I can't tell you how awful I would be.....I'd buy 20 frames from the dollar store, and scan, blow up and print her picture and have her sitting in every stinking room in my house. WHen she left? I'd replace the pictures with a copier picture of my hiney One could be the other not?
Sending hugs
Twinkle Twinkle Very Bad Star