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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 221065" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>"And it would be very easy on me to withhold the not so nice stuff, but, it's too self-serving to pretend it doesn't happen while I'm dishing out advice to others. Several months ago I began to feel a bit pompous not bringing these things that happen far away from my home up when others have such difficult situations staring them in their face. But, I realized that I also didn't want anyone to think that it's a piece of cake because I never say anything, either. Honestly, I'd rather not share this ugly part of my life with outsiders."</p><p></p><p>Witz, I prefer to believe this was not intended to be offensive or critical of the moderators choice to share or not share. It did sting me though. </p><p>What I post or don't post doesn't have much to do with suggestion I may make. My time here is not self serving and I have never painted a pretty picture of our life with difficult child. Certainly I have never hidden the ugly part of my life. </p><p></p><p>After 10 yrs I'm tired of dealing with difficult child. He is 24yrs old,iving at home. Is helpful but can't seem to hold a job, can't seem to get along with authority figures, can't make change with a calculator, continues to need to be told every day to shower, brush teeth and change his clothes, shave etc. His future at this point is starting to look bleak. I have always felt hope but at this age I see my hope dripping away as every day passes. Yet, I continue to believe that I must keep helping him to move forward. I find almost no resources for my son where he is among others who are similar. He can be grouped with those with mental retardation- which he isn't or grouped with those with mental illness which he isn't. Neither group is a fit that difficult child can live with. He would probably be better situated with those with brain injury but he does not have that diagnosis. </p><p></p><p>I find that I don't want him to be in my house again and that I am sad that he has nothing and somewhat embarassed by his appearance. Not a very motherly response but I am baring it all so you can see that my life has a fair amount of ugly. I see in his eyes that he knows we do not include him all the time. We are all trying to have a life and he is not included in every aspect. easy child isn't always included either as we are not included in their lives. I see his realization in his eyes that he is falling farther and farther behind his easy child peers. It breaks my heart but if I think too hard about it, I will fall apart. Mostly because it means that I am accepting that this is as good as it is going to get. </p><p></p><p>We are still working with interviewing with services. Takes a long time. </p><p></p><p>So now you know. I wish you had been softer or kinder in your request for our sharing. I don't feel I deserve the edge you brought to this post. It simply wasn't necessary.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 221065, member: 3"] "And it would be very easy on me to withhold the not so nice stuff, but, it's too self-serving to pretend it doesn't happen while I'm dishing out advice to others. Several months ago I began to feel a bit pompous not bringing these things that happen far away from my home up when others have such difficult situations staring them in their face. But, I realized that I also didn't want anyone to think that it's a piece of cake because I never say anything, either. Honestly, I'd rather not share this ugly part of my life with outsiders." Witz, I prefer to believe this was not intended to be offensive or critical of the moderators choice to share or not share. It did sting me though. What I post or don't post doesn't have much to do with suggestion I may make. My time here is not self serving and I have never painted a pretty picture of our life with difficult child. Certainly I have never hidden the ugly part of my life. After 10 yrs I'm tired of dealing with difficult child. He is 24yrs old,iving at home. Is helpful but can't seem to hold a job, can't seem to get along with authority figures, can't make change with a calculator, continues to need to be told every day to shower, brush teeth and change his clothes, shave etc. His future at this point is starting to look bleak. I have always felt hope but at this age I see my hope dripping away as every day passes. Yet, I continue to believe that I must keep helping him to move forward. I find almost no resources for my son where he is among others who are similar. He can be grouped with those with mental retardation- which he isn't or grouped with those with mental illness which he isn't. Neither group is a fit that difficult child can live with. He would probably be better situated with those with brain injury but he does not have that diagnosis. I find that I don't want him to be in my house again and that I am sad that he has nothing and somewhat embarassed by his appearance. Not a very motherly response but I am baring it all so you can see that my life has a fair amount of ugly. I see in his eyes that he knows we do not include him all the time. We are all trying to have a life and he is not included in every aspect. easy child isn't always included either as we are not included in their lives. I see his realization in his eyes that he is falling farther and farther behind his easy child peers. It breaks my heart but if I think too hard about it, I will fall apart. Mostly because it means that I am accepting that this is as good as it is going to get. We are still working with interviewing with services. Takes a long time. So now you know. I wish you had been softer or kinder in your request for our sharing. I don't feel I deserve the edge you brought to this post. It simply wasn't necessary. [/QUOTE]
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