Where do I go from here?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by KaLeigh, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. KaLeigh

    KaLeigh New Member

    Hi everyone! I'm brand new here. I'm a 36 year old mom of three children. My oldest child is 10 years old and in 4th grade. For years, I thought he has had ADHD. We had to move him from a public school to a private school with smaller class sizes. We also had him repeat a grade because he was struggling so much. During parent conferences, teachers would always say that he doesn't pay attention and lacks self confidence. This year, his worksheets often have "pay attention" and "follow directions" written on them. However, no one ever said that we needed to get him tested or even get an IEP. Teachers believe that he doesn't have ADHD because he is not hyper in school. Next year he will be going to middle school and I'm afraid that he won't be able to do the work.

    Besides all this, we have behavior issues going on at home. He is defiant, combative, hostile, and constantly blaming others for his actions. He told me that he will "never surrender"! Like this is a battle or something! He even stole something from a friend! That was the last straw for me. I called the doctor and asked for a referral to a behavior specialist. Well, I got a call the day before the appointment saying that our insurance doesn't cover it and the appointment was cancelled! Now, We're going to probably have to wait for months to get an appointment from an approved psychiatrist!

    What do I do? How can I keep my sanity through all this? The school district told me that I have to get tested through a psychologist before they will even do anything for him. I am assuming this will take lots of $$$.

    Any advice would be appreciated!

    By the way, what does difficult child stand for?
  2. Sloo from Mizzou

    Sloo from Mizzou New Member

    I am not sure if IEP's apply in private school, but in public schools you need only send a letter (certified) that you are requesting an evaluation for an IEP because of ( and list your reasons). I believe the school has 30 days from receipt to start the testing.

    I am somewhat new here too, but I think difficult child means "Gift from God" but refers to our kids with difficulties.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    My children went through elementary at a private school. It does not matter where the student goes to school, the school district is responsible for providing services to help that child. We had several kids from our school who was either bussed or a teacher came to our school to work with them.

    I would think it in the best interest of the private school to abide by an IEP. During registration at our private school, that question is asked, "Is there an IEP in place." If our teachers saw a need in any area, they would refer the family to the school district to receive special services (Title I is the most common that I hear).

    I was fortunate in our private school that the teachers bent over backwards to do whatever was necessary to help my difficult child get an education. With the excellent teamwork I had with the teachers, I didn't feel like I needed to go to the district for the IEP. The teachers gladly did as I asked and whatever the doctors suggested.

    Some private schools may not accept students with IEP's but I would think that would be very rare. The complexity of the student's needs may also not be well met in the private setting (they don't have the staffing sometimes) so they would not accept the enrollment. Just depends on the needs of the student and if that school felt they were qualifed to meet those needs.

    This is in Minnesota. I don't know about other states but it would make sense that the school district is responsible for the child's education and you can go into the district office or councelor's office and ask for help as if your child went to public school.

    You can give your state's Department of Education a call and ask them what the school district is suppose to help with.

    Your child's doctor may be able to refer to a psychologist that your insurance does cover.

    difficult child does mean Gift from God!
  4. Jeppy

    Jeppy New Member

    My son received an IEP evaluation while in private school. It was conducted by the public school of the city we live in. You request it from the public school in writing and they have to do it within a certain number of days.

    Your child can be attention deficit without hyperactivity - ADD not ADHD.

    Welcome and good luck to you.
  5. dadside

    dadside New Member

    [FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Behavior issues often go along with learning difficulties that aren't being met well. If the student is struggling just to get by, they may get discouraged and/or turn to other things they can do. Sometimes that becomes “filling the time”, and you can follow the rest.[/FONT]

    Public schools are required to provide a free appropriate education with (non-medical) supports to any child in their district with one or more specified disabilities that have a significant adverse impact on their learning. Public schools are required to provide special education and related services to eligible children in a private school, although those things may not necessarily be provided in the private school. Private schools are not covered by IDEA, but many are cooperative in serving covered students.

    Whether or not his teachers think your son has ADHD is not a deciding factor. Also, it is not the only possible disability. He might have trouble with any number of things, including psychological or neurological issues. I can't tell.

    The public school is supposed to evaluate your son if you make a written request that they do so, and you provide written consent to the evaluation. Your evaluation request should include every area of suspected disability. The time they have to do the evaluation, determine his eligibility and decide (with your participation) on any special education and services varies by state, but in most states the evaluation is to be done within 60 calendar days from your consent. The public school's evaluation probably won't be as extensive as you might get elsewhere, and won't include strictly medical issues (the schools can't diagnose), but should identify educational needs and may suggest possible medical referral.

    There is more information elsewhere on this site (can't recall where) about the content of the letter, which may be addressed to your public school district's director of special education and/or the superintendent. If the district balks in any way, or if you want help getting through the process, contact your state's Parent Training & Information Center.