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Whining
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 444634" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I think it is quite right that if I "feed into" it, it proliferates. This morning, for example, I told J he had to have bread and chocolate for breakfast (as opposed to just chocolate on a spoon, as he wanted) and he started protesting. I just said very evenly and calmly, in a pleasant tone of voice, "You have to have something in your tummy for breakfast" and he said in the whine tone "But I don't want it!". And then stopped. And ate bread. It was just a whine for form's sake, to save face or satisfy something within him... If I allow it to get to me and stress me, and get angry (because I am human), he becomes a manic whiner, on and on... </p><p>The trouble is, I think, that I need a team of therapists to enable me to deal successfully with my difficult child <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> And my difficult child isn't even as difficult as some I read about here. Most of his difficult behaviour rubs me up the wrong way, stresses me, angers me... his answering back and refusing to do simple things, sometimes, just because he has to refuse or to be in control makes me cross, as if he is just being difficult and spoilt. The child psychiatrist said to me "Try to remember that he is not doing these things on purpose, or to annoy you" and of course in the heat of the moment I am unable to remember or focus on that... I do try to be conscious, I do try to be patient, I do try to inject as much fun and laughter and love into our relationship as possible. But... sometimes... I think the stress of dealing with him on my own overwhelms me. Just being very honest here... We are shortly to go to Morocco, where J will spend time with his father and Moroccan family, without me, and we will have a long break from each other. Of course I feel very mixed feelings about that but know I need to rest and recuperate... regroup. I'm quite sure all of you here will understand that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 444634, member: 11227"] I think it is quite right that if I "feed into" it, it proliferates. This morning, for example, I told J he had to have bread and chocolate for breakfast (as opposed to just chocolate on a spoon, as he wanted) and he started protesting. I just said very evenly and calmly, in a pleasant tone of voice, "You have to have something in your tummy for breakfast" and he said in the whine tone "But I don't want it!". And then stopped. And ate bread. It was just a whine for form's sake, to save face or satisfy something within him... If I allow it to get to me and stress me, and get angry (because I am human), he becomes a manic whiner, on and on... The trouble is, I think, that I need a team of therapists to enable me to deal successfully with my difficult child :) And my difficult child isn't even as difficult as some I read about here. Most of his difficult behaviour rubs me up the wrong way, stresses me, angers me... his answering back and refusing to do simple things, sometimes, just because he has to refuse or to be in control makes me cross, as if he is just being difficult and spoilt. The child psychiatrist said to me "Try to remember that he is not doing these things on purpose, or to annoy you" and of course in the heat of the moment I am unable to remember or focus on that... I do try to be conscious, I do try to be patient, I do try to inject as much fun and laughter and love into our relationship as possible. But... sometimes... I think the stress of dealing with him on my own overwhelms me. Just being very honest here... We are shortly to go to Morocco, where J will spend time with his father and Moroccan family, without me, and we will have a long break from each other. Of course I feel very mixed feelings about that but know I need to rest and recuperate... regroup. I'm quite sure all of you here will understand that. [/QUOTE]
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