Are you saying you're not questioning his diagnosis. because, secretly, you do? LOL. Just wondering. diagnosis. are often wrong--sad but true.
There is nothing to question....we all know there is no exact science to any of these disorders; whether it's adhd, autism spectrum disorders, mental illness etc...
I do want to discuss this more...It is a fact that you can go to three different doctors and get three different opinions, diagnoses, and treatment options because there is not a way to truly pinpoint any of these complex and often co-morbid disorders. Many of the symptoms and wax and wane over time....meaning that the way the symptoms present over time are often changing....at times one sees more aggression or anxiety...at times one may see withdrawl or high activity level...All of these symptoms I just mentioned can fall into many different categories. When we see these symptoms present, doctors, parents, and teachers look at the symptoms, histories, etc and make decisions and recommendations based on these observations over time. It is not right or wrong.
Each child reacts and responds differently to medications...so this is not an exact science. Medications may work wonderfully and then stop working...or may start to produce negative side effects...which in turn and over time, may cause one to longer see benefit in medications.
As children grow, their brains and chemistry change as well. The body responds differently to these on going changes.
I've read now that some people believe that adhd is part of a spectrum disorder....and so is tourette syndrome...and the bipolar is also part of the spectrum...and you know what just like temperature changes throughout the day and the seasons change kids can move up and down the spectrum from mild to more moderate throughout the year...
And even if your child is on the autism spectrum....he still may receive benefits from being on medication...and you know what...even if your child has adhd or bipolar he may benefit from autism interventions...because many of these interventions could also be considered "good practice". Many "autism interventions" are also beneficial for a child with adhd and also beneficial for a child who is scared or anxious. All kids can and do benefit from individualized Occupational Therapist (OT) and pt.
Social stories can be helpful to be used with three and four year olds...and quite beneficial because they can actually teach the reason behind the need for some rules...I understand that for typically developing kids...they may need to hear these things once or twice and for kids on the spectrum...they may need to hear these things over and over again...because they can't learn them as easily and as quickly as we'd like. But we can practice and teach, and model, and reteach over and over...and for some it doesn't matter they may not be able to ever fully learn and apply these skills. It's just like the example in the Explosive Child...you could offer a person a million dollars to get a basket from the foul line...the motivation is there....it just can't happen.
And as parents we need to understand that our kids are not doing this to make us angry and resentful...they are hurting too. Is my child happy now that he once again he messed up...NO !! But, in reality he is also happy that he did not have to attend these services...and even if I punish more it won't help. So even if it's part of whatever symptoms or issues they have manipulation is still of part of it.
Children can have cognitive limitations, be on the spectrum and have major issues with attention, but also MANIPULATE to avoid working hard and doing what is expected...and this is why it is so hard...there are no real answers !!!! And we as parents just need to keep on doing what we can...to help our kids...and also not make ourselves crazy at the same time...
So...am I secretly questioning his diagnosis....not really...I just don't understand why he does what he does. And if I went to a doctor and he said my child has Asperger's....nothing would change....because I'm already providing strategies and interventions....he's already trialing medications....What do you think I would need to do differently if a doctor now said he had Aspergers? ...this is somewhat rhetorical because there is no chance difficult child 2 is on the spectrum disorder...if anything I question my parenting strategies...and wonder why he can hold it together at school so much better at home. And I am frustrated that I spend so much time trying to be a better parent and no matter how hard I try....there are still issues...and yes I am jealous of many of my friends who kids are less challenging....and so much more compliant. And I don't like them telling me what I am doing wrong..
I think I'll stop rambling now....I hope I'm not offending anyone...I hope that I actually said things that are helpful to others...if not...thank you for letting me babble...