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Why am I feeling like this??
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 411878" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Alanon is awesome when you find a group that fits.........and still not a bad idea if you don't feel one fits perfectly. You don't want a group of people soooooo supportive that they won't tell you like it is should you need it. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>I did this sort of worrying the first several times bff was determined to kick alcohol/drugs. Well, I knew enough about it being all up to her that it didn't keep me up nights........but yeah over worried in the day and tried to nip any self sabotage in the bud sort of thing. But sometimes I'm a hard learner. And on this I was. I mean I knew that it had to be all up to them, the whole deal........but it wasn't until like the 20th time I heard "I need to change, I need rehab" when it really hit me hard that it was up to her, not me. And the worry stopped on that level. The caring didn't, just the worry part. I could keep it put on her where it belonged instead of on me where it didn't belong, while I prayed for her and went on with life. I'd do things to help that only helped as far as sobriety.....and not a ton of that as it's a tight rope as much as not. I'm still not sure if it's because you really can't keep that high level of worry going on forever.......or if, failure after failure with bff showed me it really really is completely up to her. Maybe a bit of both.</p><p></p><p>Long ago they used to have an alanon book that was truly wonderful. I read it from cover to cover so many times I think I wore it out.......not sure what happened to it or even if they have them anymore.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 411878, member: 84"] Alanon is awesome when you find a group that fits.........and still not a bad idea if you don't feel one fits perfectly. You don't want a group of people soooooo supportive that they won't tell you like it is should you need it. Know what I mean?? I did this sort of worrying the first several times bff was determined to kick alcohol/drugs. Well, I knew enough about it being all up to her that it didn't keep me up nights........but yeah over worried in the day and tried to nip any self sabotage in the bud sort of thing. But sometimes I'm a hard learner. And on this I was. I mean I knew that it had to be all up to them, the whole deal........but it wasn't until like the 20th time I heard "I need to change, I need rehab" when it really hit me hard that it was up to her, not me. And the worry stopped on that level. The caring didn't, just the worry part. I could keep it put on her where it belonged instead of on me where it didn't belong, while I prayed for her and went on with life. I'd do things to help that only helped as far as sobriety.....and not a ton of that as it's a tight rope as much as not. I'm still not sure if it's because you really can't keep that high level of worry going on forever.......or if, failure after failure with bff showed me it really really is completely up to her. Maybe a bit of both. Long ago they used to have an alanon book that was truly wonderful. I read it from cover to cover so many times I think I wore it out.......not sure what happened to it or even if they have them anymore. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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