Why am I not surprised?

[AmericanGirl]

difficult child had talked off and on about he and a friend painting at the skate park. Probably 4-8 mentions including them likely going to talk to the City Counsel. Once, he mentioned it to some kid we ran into. One day we were out and he mentioned it so I said I want to go see it. He said ok but when we got there, he refused to let me drive into the parking area. I was to look while driving down the street. 😞

Today, I went there. There are some painted areas on the concrete. White non slip paint. Nothing else. He lied.


Just breaks my heart to see this. I know all kids lie but difficult child just isn't well. He has made up huge portions of his life for a while now. Remember he manufactured a child, complete with downloaded pics? Plus his trust fund? The junior Olympics? Him leaving high school early to start college? His rally car? That isn't just substance addiction. It is mental illness.

I'm beginning to conclude his life was collapsing here under the weight of his lies and poor choices. Likely one of the reasons he wanted away from me is that I would blow his cover.

His birthday was last week. I saw from his FB that hardly anyone told him Happy Birthday. Including all but one of his bio dad's relatives who difficult child just friended.

My therapist recommended a write him a card. Tell him that I wanted to be with him, etc. just don't mail it. Save it for him. She suggests I not contact him. The phrase was, " Don't give him a way to hook you back in."

Assuming he will stay with bio dad until he wears his welcome out. difficult child can be charming but not for long. Good luck getting him to keep a job.

You learn to wait until the next implosion. I truly believe months in jail would be the best thing that could happen to him.

 

[dstc_99]

Your not surprised because you know he doesn't tell the truth. On the other hand why bother to lie? Definitely something mental going on there or maybe the drugs have messed with his head so much that he hallucinates stuff.

 

[DDD]

AG, has difficult child actually had a MH evaluation recently? I admire your love and devotion and your repeated efforts to get him through rehab programs. on the other hand this post makes me seriously wonder if perhaps he has a missed diagnosis and the substance abuse issue might be secondary. difficult child#2, for example, is likely to share imaginery events and friends but he was close to 18 before he had schizoeffective added to his ADHD and Aspergers diagnosis's. The elongated story followed by his willingness to share the artwork with you...well...in my humble opinion it rings a more serious MH bell. Hugs DDD

 

[AmericanGirl]

DDD,

I agree with everything you posted.

*He was tested at my request last year while in rehab. He refused to allow them to share the results.

however, they recommended no medications and no therapy. Just sober living and 12 step.

i suspect anti social. There is no medication for it. Therapy isn't helpful and often makes them more manipulative.

difficult child has a history of lying. He made up a daughter, complete w googled pics. He also rarely shows remorse.

 

[DDD]

difficult child#2 takes a few medications. on the other hand the only advantage is that IF he takes them he can sleep at night and seems not to have a need to rage. Mainly, sad to say, I don't see a happy future for our difficult child. Actually, truth be told, I really don't believe that difficult child#2 wants to change. He seems to think that "others" misperceive him and that is their problem. DDD

 

[lovemysons]

AG,
Always thinking of you and difficult child.

Hugs and love to you,
LMS