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General Parenting
"Why Are You Mad At Me?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Winnielg" data-source="post: 585333" data-attributes="member: 16059"><p>I don't know. I am with you bunny. I think difficult child has to understand that his actions and the fallout do not just go away because he is over it. I know to him it is done like InsanC says. I understand that is how he thinks but that is not the real world and if he did that elsewhere he would've arrested or committed, period. This is what all the difficult children care providers have said that have worked with him for years. At this point he may not agree or accept how we feel but as time passes he knows he has to wait and or deal with it. And that people need time to heal. Additionally he has been told repeatedly by all of his care providers that the more abusive situations that happen, the longer the abused takes to heal a little after each one. </p><p></p><p>Now this year as things have escalated for us so much we - with the advice if the specialists - no longer couch what we say. We are direct about how we feel. </p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion your difficult child needs to know eventually that the hospital was one option. The fact that he hit you could be considered assault and the police could have arrested him. Those are real life consequences to such behavior. Don't get me wrong I do not think the Criminal justice system is the place for our difficult children but one day that will not be our choice as it mostly is now. </p><p></p><p>After one incident the police told difficult child that if they could have seen bruises on me which they assumed would come later ( they did) they would have arrested him regardless of what I said. </p><p></p><p>I know you spoke of difficult child not understanding why you were mad but I think that this all ties in together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Winnielg, post: 585333, member: 16059"] I don't know. I am with you bunny. I think difficult child has to understand that his actions and the fallout do not just go away because he is over it. I know to him it is done like InsanC says. I understand that is how he thinks but that is not the real world and if he did that elsewhere he would've arrested or committed, period. This is what all the difficult children care providers have said that have worked with him for years. At this point he may not agree or accept how we feel but as time passes he knows he has to wait and or deal with it. And that people need time to heal. Additionally he has been told repeatedly by all of his care providers that the more abusive situations that happen, the longer the abused takes to heal a little after each one. Now this year as things have escalated for us so much we - with the advice if the specialists - no longer couch what we say. We are direct about how we feel. in my humble opinion your difficult child needs to know eventually that the hospital was one option. The fact that he hit you could be considered assault and the police could have arrested him. Those are real life consequences to such behavior. Don't get me wrong I do not think the Criminal justice system is the place for our difficult children but one day that will not be our choice as it mostly is now. After one incident the police told difficult child that if they could have seen bruises on me which they assumed would come later ( they did) they would have arrested him regardless of what I said. I know you spoke of difficult child not understanding why you were mad but I think that this all ties in together. [/QUOTE]
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