Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why is he doing this?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 353618" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A couple of ideas, then.</p><p></p><p>First, I suspect he may have task-changing problems. So when you need to, don't say "Stop the game now," but say, "I need your attention in 15 minutes, or sooner when you are ready." You might need to stick a note on the computer screen confirming you have asked him to stop by a certain time. This is how we taught difficult child 3 to transition (although he still has problems, but now he understands he has problems).</p><p></p><p>Second - he obviously at times wants something from you - transport somewhere? A meal? He can't survive on half a sandwich left on the floor. Clean clothes maybe?</p><p>But NOTHING is available until his floor is food-free and urine-soaked-clothing-free.</p><p>The only problem with this, is teen males tend to get very NOW about food, often getting aggressive simply because their blood sugar level is low.</p><p></p><p>I think Terry has a point about using computer time as a reward, but to do this, you need to be able to control computer time in the first place.</p><p></p><p>Controlling access to food is another way to try to regain control here. If all food has to be obtained through you, then you are also in a position to stay and supervise the ingestion of that food under appropriate social conditions - eat at the table, take all you want but eat all you take, cover leftovers and put them in the fridge (which Mom locks up again).</p><p>If you lock food away, don't use a padlock and hasp because it's too easy to get a screwdriver and take off the hasp. And then put it back on again, to try to cover tracks. I remember doing this myself when I was a kid.</p><p></p><p>I had kids who used to wipe fecal matter on the walls. They were handed a scrubbing brush and made to clean it off. It didn't matter that they found scrubbing the walls to be a fun task - the thing is, they got the message that it's not right to have ..it on the walls.</p><p></p><p>All we can do, is to keep doing what we can. We can't make our kids instantly perfect, and over time they will get the message. Maybe by the time he's 20... I know difficult child 1, 27 and married now, doesn't do this any more. I know his wife would really take it out on him if she did.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 353618, member: 1991"] A couple of ideas, then. First, I suspect he may have task-changing problems. So when you need to, don't say "Stop the game now," but say, "I need your attention in 15 minutes, or sooner when you are ready." You might need to stick a note on the computer screen confirming you have asked him to stop by a certain time. This is how we taught difficult child 3 to transition (although he still has problems, but now he understands he has problems). Second - he obviously at times wants something from you - transport somewhere? A meal? He can't survive on half a sandwich left on the floor. Clean clothes maybe? But NOTHING is available until his floor is food-free and urine-soaked-clothing-free. The only problem with this, is teen males tend to get very NOW about food, often getting aggressive simply because their blood sugar level is low. I think Terry has a point about using computer time as a reward, but to do this, you need to be able to control computer time in the first place. Controlling access to food is another way to try to regain control here. If all food has to be obtained through you, then you are also in a position to stay and supervise the ingestion of that food under appropriate social conditions - eat at the table, take all you want but eat all you take, cover leftovers and put them in the fridge (which Mom locks up again). If you lock food away, don't use a padlock and hasp because it's too easy to get a screwdriver and take off the hasp. And then put it back on again, to try to cover tracks. I remember doing this myself when I was a kid. I had kids who used to wipe fecal matter on the walls. They were handed a scrubbing brush and made to clean it off. It didn't matter that they found scrubbing the walls to be a fun task - the thing is, they got the message that it's not right to have ..it on the walls. All we can do, is to keep doing what we can. We can't make our kids instantly perfect, and over time they will get the message. Maybe by the time he's 20... I know difficult child 1, 27 and married now, doesn't do this any more. I know his wife would really take it out on him if she did. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why is he doing this?
Top