DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I have been laboring under the assumption that Corys father and I were firmly planted on the same page about the latest of Corys escapes. I learned today that his father seems to be having problems coming to terms with the ramifications of all that this will entail.
In my mind, I would have thought that Tony would be extremely livid that Cory had dared to steal the beloved gun that Jamie gave him. Even more livid than I was to have learned that Cory had stolen money from me. I mean money is only money and has no sentimental value to it. The gun was a present from Jamie and here Jamie is being deployed overseas. When that gun was stolen by someone outside the family, Tony almost had a nervous breakdown. I would think this would be an even bigger blow. Evidently I am wrong. He seems torn. In a way I can understand a bit of his ambivalence.
I have shielded him somewhat over the years from all the ick having to do with Cory. I was always the one who did the work having Cory placed into placements, psychiatric hospitals, etc. When charges were ever levied, I always did it because they were always taken out by me. Tony never had to go to court and sit with me to watch all this stuff. He did attend some of the therapy of course but he didnt go to all of it.
Now he is iffy about what to do about the gun. He goes back and forth about should he just make Cory buy him a new one or take out charges or talk to his PO. He said someone told him we could be in trouble for having the guns here while Cory lived here on probation which is BS. They knew we had them and wouldnt have released him here if it was a problem. He said if he charges Cory then Cory will be in so much trouble. Ok...probably. He said maybe he should just make Cory buy him a new gun. I asked him, well isnt the plan for Cory not to ever live here again. Ok...yes. Hmmm. Ok. I walked away.
Later in bed I told him I really thought he needed to think harder about his plan about this whole gun thing because I didnt think he had thought it out very well. If he intended for Cory to never come home here again after he left here for jail, then I really doubted that Cory would ever have the money to replace that gun. That was faulty planning on Tonys fault. Then I told Tony that it would have been so easy for me to have made the choice to just have had Cory repay me each month out of his disability check for the money he stole from me. I could have just kept those checks until the money was repaid. It wouldnt have taken all that long to do. However, what would that teach him other than that he could continue to steal from me when he wanted and I would look the other way. That I was his personal banker for loans. I didnt know what the courts would do to Cory when I took out those charges and I did know that it would be a felony. I really didnt want to do it either but I was mad and it was not the first time he had done it. I had had enough. Same thing applies here. Cory has done this before too. He continues to steal from us. He has been told by everyone including his PO that he cannot touch the guns and he did. Cory made that choice...not us. We didnt ask him to do this for us. It would be different if we had asked him to take it in. I told his dad that he really needs to talk to Corys PO after Cory turns himself in on the 8th and tell him what has happened. I personally think he will only violate him. Cory didnt commit some violent crime with the gun so I dont think anything else will happen. But he does need some added incentive to learn that rules do apply to him. We cant keep turning our heads.
However, I am not going to be the one to make this decision for Dad. I will not be the bad guy yet again. Its time for someone else to step up too.
In my mind, I would have thought that Tony would be extremely livid that Cory had dared to steal the beloved gun that Jamie gave him. Even more livid than I was to have learned that Cory had stolen money from me. I mean money is only money and has no sentimental value to it. The gun was a present from Jamie and here Jamie is being deployed overseas. When that gun was stolen by someone outside the family, Tony almost had a nervous breakdown. I would think this would be an even bigger blow. Evidently I am wrong. He seems torn. In a way I can understand a bit of his ambivalence.
I have shielded him somewhat over the years from all the ick having to do with Cory. I was always the one who did the work having Cory placed into placements, psychiatric hospitals, etc. When charges were ever levied, I always did it because they were always taken out by me. Tony never had to go to court and sit with me to watch all this stuff. He did attend some of the therapy of course but he didnt go to all of it.
Now he is iffy about what to do about the gun. He goes back and forth about should he just make Cory buy him a new one or take out charges or talk to his PO. He said someone told him we could be in trouble for having the guns here while Cory lived here on probation which is BS. They knew we had them and wouldnt have released him here if it was a problem. He said if he charges Cory then Cory will be in so much trouble. Ok...probably. He said maybe he should just make Cory buy him a new gun. I asked him, well isnt the plan for Cory not to ever live here again. Ok...yes. Hmmm. Ok. I walked away.
Later in bed I told him I really thought he needed to think harder about his plan about this whole gun thing because I didnt think he had thought it out very well. If he intended for Cory to never come home here again after he left here for jail, then I really doubted that Cory would ever have the money to replace that gun. That was faulty planning on Tonys fault. Then I told Tony that it would have been so easy for me to have made the choice to just have had Cory repay me each month out of his disability check for the money he stole from me. I could have just kept those checks until the money was repaid. It wouldnt have taken all that long to do. However, what would that teach him other than that he could continue to steal from me when he wanted and I would look the other way. That I was his personal banker for loans. I didnt know what the courts would do to Cory when I took out those charges and I did know that it would be a felony. I really didnt want to do it either but I was mad and it was not the first time he had done it. I had had enough. Same thing applies here. Cory has done this before too. He continues to steal from us. He has been told by everyone including his PO that he cannot touch the guns and he did. Cory made that choice...not us. We didnt ask him to do this for us. It would be different if we had asked him to take it in. I told his dad that he really needs to talk to Corys PO after Cory turns himself in on the 8th and tell him what has happened. I personally think he will only violate him. Cory didnt commit some violent crime with the gun so I dont think anything else will happen. But he does need some added incentive to learn that rules do apply to him. We cant keep turning our heads.
However, I am not going to be the one to make this decision for Dad. I will not be the bad guy yet again. Its time for someone else to step up too.
