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Wish Me Luck, I am Sure I am Nuts
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 634978" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Things actually went very well. Bro got a flat tire on the way and that was a problem for him. But when we got there he was waiting right in the drive where he couldn't be seen from the house. This is HUGE. Gfgbro has had severe issues with being on time for his entire adult life. I cannot remember the last thing he was on time for, ever. Not even when we were teens did he ever bother to be on time.</p><p></p><p>We walked in together and my mom was finishing dinner. After a few min, she got J stirring the sauce and pulled me aside. She told me that she had not invited bro but didn't want to say anything in front of niece. The look on her face when I told her that I invited him was priceless. She was truly astonished and thrilled. It was nice to see her so happy, and to see my dad so happy. I did feel bad for those first few min of 'OMG!! I didn't invite him - is she going to be upset?" that mom felt when we walked in. I had thought seeing bro and I together, both carrying food for dinner, saying 'Surprise!' would be pretty obvious, but she was feeling a bit frazzled and didn't connect those things. </p><p></p><p>Bro didn't actually have dinner with us. He kept working on his tire, which was a severe blowout, not just a flat, so we ate with-o him. When he came in, we did cake and gifts after he ate. He was sort of surprised that I brought a few things for him. Not wrapped gifts, but items to share that I thought he would like. He was esp surprised at how thoughtful the gifts were - not just stuff I had sitting around, Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>As we finished up the cake, bro went into his 'it must all be immaculately clean immediately' thing. I didn't feel compelled to jump right in. I did what I could, and sat down when I needed to. I realized something as I watched him. His Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is so bad right now that he is not actually ABLE to sit down and enjoy a conversation unless the surroundings are clean and tidy. I have seen varying degrees of this through the years, but it was bad last night. Some might have been the stress of the first dinner in several years, but that is NOT all of it.</p><p></p><p>The kids did really well. They were fun, funny, polite, helpful and generally delightful. No panic attacks, no problems, and it was really nice to not have either of them have a nightmare after a family dinner .YEAH!!</p><p></p><p>Now we will see what comes next. I am glad this step was positive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 634978, member: 1233"] Things actually went very well. Bro got a flat tire on the way and that was a problem for him. But when we got there he was waiting right in the drive where he couldn't be seen from the house. This is HUGE. Gfgbro has had severe issues with being on time for his entire adult life. I cannot remember the last thing he was on time for, ever. Not even when we were teens did he ever bother to be on time. We walked in together and my mom was finishing dinner. After a few min, she got J stirring the sauce and pulled me aside. She told me that she had not invited bro but didn't want to say anything in front of niece. The look on her face when I told her that I invited him was priceless. She was truly astonished and thrilled. It was nice to see her so happy, and to see my dad so happy. I did feel bad for those first few min of 'OMG!! I didn't invite him - is she going to be upset?" that mom felt when we walked in. I had thought seeing bro and I together, both carrying food for dinner, saying 'Surprise!' would be pretty obvious, but she was feeling a bit frazzled and didn't connect those things. Bro didn't actually have dinner with us. He kept working on his tire, which was a severe blowout, not just a flat, so we ate with-o him. When he came in, we did cake and gifts after he ate. He was sort of surprised that I brought a few things for him. Not wrapped gifts, but items to share that I thought he would like. He was esp surprised at how thoughtful the gifts were - not just stuff I had sitting around, Know what I mean?? As we finished up the cake, bro went into his 'it must all be immaculately clean immediately' thing. I didn't feel compelled to jump right in. I did what I could, and sat down when I needed to. I realized something as I watched him. His Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is so bad right now that he is not actually ABLE to sit down and enjoy a conversation unless the surroundings are clean and tidy. I have seen varying degrees of this through the years, but it was bad last night. Some might have been the stress of the first dinner in several years, but that is NOT all of it. The kids did really well. They were fun, funny, polite, helpful and generally delightful. No panic attacks, no problems, and it was really nice to not have either of them have a nightmare after a family dinner .YEAH!! Now we will see what comes next. I am glad this step was positive. [/QUOTE]
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