hi had no idea what to title this one, that seemed to fit best.
as many of you know have been starting the whole iep process for difficult child, meeting with various people, etc.
it came today the call from the brand new pyschologist on duty in her school. I have great news for you! Last conversation we had was earlier today when he said they'd prepare referral to go to Special Education committee. difficult child's doing great, there's no reason for an iep, or a 504 she's really coming into her own. I said excuse me? well i just went and observed her for 5 min. in class she was writing a story and talked to a friend. I repeated again, excuse me? Well we at this time do not feel that any intervention nor any formal proceeding is needed for her. We believe it to be a "home" problem. It clearly states in the neuropysch testing from columbia the discord between you and your ex husband (ok only reason is because he wouldn't help pay for dr.s past 3 years so i took him to court and made him pay 50%). You can come in whenever you want and we'll try to teach you how to handle your daughter with the varying issues you see at home.
What i said in response doesnt' even matter at thsi point. Bottom line is they think it's me. me. I said she crashed last tuesday, if you remember she had been awake pretty much averaging 3 - 5 hrs. a night for 5 weeks prior to start of school, it was unlike anything we'd ever seen of her, then last tuesday she finally dropped slept until 2 in the afternoon and has been tired ever since, and anxiety is a bit lower.
i said the records speak for themselves and if you take the time to look at where difficult child was last year you will see she entered brand new school with broken wrist (she broke at my friends because her anxiety was so bad that day she saw a fly and went flying off the stairs leading to pool) on our moving day by the way.....(i thought she'd be more comfortable there then in the middle of an anxiety ridden move), she entered the school well, socially making contact doing her work, excited rested, overall beautiful..........suddenly by mid november the school contacted me and said difficult child was in need of an immediate intervention she was anxiety ridden not eating depressed withdrawn, etc. etc. (by the way this already happened year prior and documented in her old school yet they ignored that), so the meetings began at least 3 team meetings, blah blah blah certain modifications made with hw because she can't complete it after 2 hours of fighting i'm done. various calls from teacher at the time who could not handle her level of anxiety and withdrawn behaviors anyhow so that's that. i have officially lost school backing on any level.
because she has had a fairly decent 7 days in the bldg. the letter from dr means nothing to them if she's functioning well there's nothing wrong she's good it's me the parent. so i was told if i wanted to pursue the iep on my own with the Special Education committee i could yet the school is not in agreeance........ so i said what happens when difficult child crashes again which history has shown will occur within a matter of mos.? what provision will be in place for her besides yet another team meeting and modifications and everyone apologizing to me yet again for not listening. his resopnse well we'll be more than happy to make whatever provisions we have to make at such time.
so the verbal talks i had with school social worker meant nothing she lied flipped the script there is something more going on with the school new person on board that i am not aware of. she said to me jen difficult child i didn't believe it last year yet now i've taken time to get to know her adn i see what it is that you were saying with lack of consistency and yes we believe that difficult child is in need of an iep and should be medicated to help make life easier for her.
i was ridiculed for not having her in therapy at time neuropsychologist was done (8 mos. ago), the discord between my ex and i, difficult child stated that she feels stress at home (8 mos ago) in one small sentence out of a million stating a million other things and just overall negativity about herself and life. so i'm being watched now. i was told i should come to bldg to discuss them helping me with how to deal with her to improve her attendance (she's late because she cna't sleep at night adn i can't carry her out in a.m. when she fights to go it's all my verbal skills that work that and get her in eventually), also a plan for her to remember her hw because it's lacking..........p.s. she's missed one hw assignment since start of school.
so needless to say i brought difficult child to her theatre group which we implemented roughly 4 weeks ago sat in truck once she was ok in room (they are also aware of her anxiety and handle her extremely well), and i cried and called my mom, at almost 40 now.
it's just disheartening because that phone call today to me was a slap in the face, i should of seen it coming with the phone calls from the teacher stating i shouldnt' give her the drug, you should go herbal maybe your not handling her correctly at home, etc. etc.
so my relationship with the school is different now obviously i will no longer feel comfortable on any level to walk in and discuss difficult child without it being in writing to answer call to nurse unless she leaves tape recorded message on my voicemail on my cell phone, no more input from how her days are going basically. i'm being told in not so many words i'm the nut here. it doesn't matter if i have various documents dating back from 3 and 4 years ago to them she's fine even though documentation states otherwise the pattern that seems to be.
do i want difficult child to be well? ofcourse. do i want to go to various doctors and pyschdocs and varying diagnosis, no. would i love for this to last within her the new stage she is in which i have seen before yet never know how long it will last, ofcourse. i have two years left in thsi school and the school against me.
im beginning to think i never should of moved here, never should of done alot of things should of stayed where we were found the money somehow to pay the bills that were piling up due to her doctor bills and me cutting my work hours everytime i'd get phone call from nurse she was doing badly. yet there i was last night i remember it well sitting with difficult child while she laid on bed telling me every sad thought in her mind, how the other kids stare at her, how this and that makes her sad, how she is so frustrated that she can't calm down and sleep, how she's tired of pills and doctors and thinks she's weird why can't you find a pill mom that just works? then trying to put her in bed and walking in her rm to find her trying to walk out her pushing me and raising her hand to me last night and me planting her verbally that she is never to use hands use words to express herself, etc.
so i don't know where to go from here. i'm thinking pack up kids and our kitten in the truck and just leave is looking good right now to be very honest.
as many of you know have been starting the whole iep process for difficult child, meeting with various people, etc.
it came today the call from the brand new pyschologist on duty in her school. I have great news for you! Last conversation we had was earlier today when he said they'd prepare referral to go to Special Education committee. difficult child's doing great, there's no reason for an iep, or a 504 she's really coming into her own. I said excuse me? well i just went and observed her for 5 min. in class she was writing a story and talked to a friend. I repeated again, excuse me? Well we at this time do not feel that any intervention nor any formal proceeding is needed for her. We believe it to be a "home" problem. It clearly states in the neuropysch testing from columbia the discord between you and your ex husband (ok only reason is because he wouldn't help pay for dr.s past 3 years so i took him to court and made him pay 50%). You can come in whenever you want and we'll try to teach you how to handle your daughter with the varying issues you see at home.
What i said in response doesnt' even matter at thsi point. Bottom line is they think it's me. me. I said she crashed last tuesday, if you remember she had been awake pretty much averaging 3 - 5 hrs. a night for 5 weeks prior to start of school, it was unlike anything we'd ever seen of her, then last tuesday she finally dropped slept until 2 in the afternoon and has been tired ever since, and anxiety is a bit lower.
i said the records speak for themselves and if you take the time to look at where difficult child was last year you will see she entered brand new school with broken wrist (she broke at my friends because her anxiety was so bad that day she saw a fly and went flying off the stairs leading to pool) on our moving day by the way.....(i thought she'd be more comfortable there then in the middle of an anxiety ridden move), she entered the school well, socially making contact doing her work, excited rested, overall beautiful..........suddenly by mid november the school contacted me and said difficult child was in need of an immediate intervention she was anxiety ridden not eating depressed withdrawn, etc. etc. (by the way this already happened year prior and documented in her old school yet they ignored that), so the meetings began at least 3 team meetings, blah blah blah certain modifications made with hw because she can't complete it after 2 hours of fighting i'm done. various calls from teacher at the time who could not handle her level of anxiety and withdrawn behaviors anyhow so that's that. i have officially lost school backing on any level.
because she has had a fairly decent 7 days in the bldg. the letter from dr means nothing to them if she's functioning well there's nothing wrong she's good it's me the parent. so i was told if i wanted to pursue the iep on my own with the Special Education committee i could yet the school is not in agreeance........ so i said what happens when difficult child crashes again which history has shown will occur within a matter of mos.? what provision will be in place for her besides yet another team meeting and modifications and everyone apologizing to me yet again for not listening. his resopnse well we'll be more than happy to make whatever provisions we have to make at such time.
so the verbal talks i had with school social worker meant nothing she lied flipped the script there is something more going on with the school new person on board that i am not aware of. she said to me jen difficult child i didn't believe it last year yet now i've taken time to get to know her adn i see what it is that you were saying with lack of consistency and yes we believe that difficult child is in need of an iep and should be medicated to help make life easier for her.
i was ridiculed for not having her in therapy at time neuropsychologist was done (8 mos. ago), the discord between my ex and i, difficult child stated that she feels stress at home (8 mos ago) in one small sentence out of a million stating a million other things and just overall negativity about herself and life. so i'm being watched now. i was told i should come to bldg to discuss them helping me with how to deal with her to improve her attendance (she's late because she cna't sleep at night adn i can't carry her out in a.m. when she fights to go it's all my verbal skills that work that and get her in eventually), also a plan for her to remember her hw because it's lacking..........p.s. she's missed one hw assignment since start of school.
so needless to say i brought difficult child to her theatre group which we implemented roughly 4 weeks ago sat in truck once she was ok in room (they are also aware of her anxiety and handle her extremely well), and i cried and called my mom, at almost 40 now.
it's just disheartening because that phone call today to me was a slap in the face, i should of seen it coming with the phone calls from the teacher stating i shouldnt' give her the drug, you should go herbal maybe your not handling her correctly at home, etc. etc.
so my relationship with the school is different now obviously i will no longer feel comfortable on any level to walk in and discuss difficult child without it being in writing to answer call to nurse unless she leaves tape recorded message on my voicemail on my cell phone, no more input from how her days are going basically. i'm being told in not so many words i'm the nut here. it doesn't matter if i have various documents dating back from 3 and 4 years ago to them she's fine even though documentation states otherwise the pattern that seems to be.
do i want difficult child to be well? ofcourse. do i want to go to various doctors and pyschdocs and varying diagnosis, no. would i love for this to last within her the new stage she is in which i have seen before yet never know how long it will last, ofcourse. i have two years left in thsi school and the school against me.
im beginning to think i never should of moved here, never should of done alot of things should of stayed where we were found the money somehow to pay the bills that were piling up due to her doctor bills and me cutting my work hours everytime i'd get phone call from nurse she was doing badly. yet there i was last night i remember it well sitting with difficult child while she laid on bed telling me every sad thought in her mind, how the other kids stare at her, how this and that makes her sad, how she is so frustrated that she can't calm down and sleep, how she's tired of pills and doctors and thinks she's weird why can't you find a pill mom that just works? then trying to put her in bed and walking in her rm to find her trying to walk out her pushing me and raising her hand to me last night and me planting her verbally that she is never to use hands use words to express herself, etc.
so i don't know where to go from here. i'm thinking pack up kids and our kitten in the truck and just leave is looking good right now to be very honest.
