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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 517340" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I did a cursory search for facilities that would accept minors some years ago and there were none available in central Fl. at that time. I hope you have viable choices.</p><p></p><p>Regarding his refusal to meet/speak with you I would assume he either is transferring his responsibility to you or he is not willing to share his feelings with you. Neither justification indicates that he doesn't love and admire you. In fact my gs tells everyone that his Mama is the most important person in his life but...it has only been in the past three or four years (after the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)) he has shared from his heart what all he has done in the past. These revelations were mostly made when he was inebriated and full of remorse for hurting me etc. I have never shared his revelations with anyone but it has scarred my heart.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand if he is to be released to you I "think" (not 100% sure) that you have every right to require a meeting with a qualified therapist at the facility before taking him home. Alot of addictions include power control, playing a role and trying to avoid responsibility. I "think" that he would find it reasonable for you to say "we must spend an hour together with a therapist before we head home". It could be your last opportunity to insist on inclusion. If you opt to do that then you need to really think hard about what issues you want to discuss in that short period of time. Going in cold turkey could give a big advantage to your difficult child. In a thread the other day I described how the teens would say accusatory things about their parents at family meeting during residential rehab. Nancy was really shocked because their rehab was all positive. Bottom line?? An addict is an addict is an addict. We can love them with 100% of our hearts but they lie, they transfer responsibility, they say what they believe they are suppose to say. Your heart may be broken again but I "think" you have leverage to insist on a meeting before discharge. It could be full of bull or maybe it could have some value but you have the right to insist...you are the parent...he is the kid. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 517340, member: 35"] I did a cursory search for facilities that would accept minors some years ago and there were none available in central Fl. at that time. I hope you have viable choices. Regarding his refusal to meet/speak with you I would assume he either is transferring his responsibility to you or he is not willing to share his feelings with you. Neither justification indicates that he doesn't love and admire you. In fact my gs tells everyone that his Mama is the most important person in his life but...it has only been in the past three or four years (after the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)) he has shared from his heart what all he has done in the past. These revelations were mostly made when he was inebriated and full of remorse for hurting me etc. I have never shared his revelations with anyone but it has scarred my heart. on the other hand if he is to be released to you I "think" (not 100% sure) that you have every right to require a meeting with a qualified therapist at the facility before taking him home. Alot of addictions include power control, playing a role and trying to avoid responsibility. I "think" that he would find it reasonable for you to say "we must spend an hour together with a therapist before we head home". It could be your last opportunity to insist on inclusion. If you opt to do that then you need to really think hard about what issues you want to discuss in that short period of time. Going in cold turkey could give a big advantage to your difficult child. In a thread the other day I described how the teens would say accusatory things about their parents at family meeting during residential rehab. Nancy was really shocked because their rehab was all positive. Bottom line?? An addict is an addict is an addict. We can love them with 100% of our hearts but they lie, they transfer responsibility, they say what they believe they are suppose to say. Your heart may be broken again but I "think" you have leverage to insist on a meeting before discharge. It could be full of bull or maybe it could have some value but you have the right to insist...you are the parent...he is the kid. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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