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Wow - Another day - Ya'll are the best support
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 127921" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>David, we'll be here as much as we can for you but try to get some real life support, too. You can't isolate yourself to the online world. You need real life relationships, too. This is very important not just to your mental well-being but in showing your son what life is about -- family, friends, love. The more he sees you acting like a mentally healthy adult, the better chance he has to become one.</p><p> </p><p>I saw that one of your triggers is a bad report from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Here's something I was told when my daughter was in. They didn't worry about the kids who acted out once they started "getting" the program. Those were the kids that were honestly working the program but getting frustrated at their inability to totally succeed. They'd get it. The ones they had the biggest concerns about were the kids who always said and did the right things, whose mess-ups were minor at most. They really weren't working the program -- they were manipulating it, just giving the feedback that was needed to get out so they could go back to their old ways. These kids had made no change inside of themselves. So, rejoice every time you hear Justin has mucked up. It means he's learning and growing, not just sitting in a holding pattern.</p><p> </p><p>When I was missing my daughter the most, I would sit down and do something for her. Write a long, loving letter. Make her something (poor kid has more painted/shellacked/decoupaged cigar boxes than she cares to count now). Started redoing her room. After I had finished something for her, I FORCED myself to do something for me. Read a book, take a bath, take a long drive, go to Barnes & Nobles and sit and have a coffee, call a friend and meet for dinner or a snack or just to talk.</p><p> </p><p>As to the getting mad/upset/pity mode -- those you have to work on. Rather than getting violent in your anger, it sounds like you internalize it. Something to work on with a good therapist. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, I'm done with my lecture. Keep up on the not drinking. I'm glad to hear no urges to drink again. Would you mind giving me your willpower when you're done so I could quit smoking?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 127921, member: 3626"] David, we'll be here as much as we can for you but try to get some real life support, too. You can't isolate yourself to the online world. You need real life relationships, too. This is very important not just to your mental well-being but in showing your son what life is about -- family, friends, love. The more he sees you acting like a mentally healthy adult, the better chance he has to become one. I saw that one of your triggers is a bad report from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Here's something I was told when my daughter was in. They didn't worry about the kids who acted out once they started "getting" the program. Those were the kids that were honestly working the program but getting frustrated at their inability to totally succeed. They'd get it. The ones they had the biggest concerns about were the kids who always said and did the right things, whose mess-ups were minor at most. They really weren't working the program -- they were manipulating it, just giving the feedback that was needed to get out so they could go back to their old ways. These kids had made no change inside of themselves. So, rejoice every time you hear Justin has mucked up. It means he's learning and growing, not just sitting in a holding pattern. When I was missing my daughter the most, I would sit down and do something for her. Write a long, loving letter. Make her something (poor kid has more painted/shellacked/decoupaged cigar boxes than she cares to count now). Started redoing her room. After I had finished something for her, I FORCED myself to do something for me. Read a book, take a bath, take a long drive, go to Barnes & Nobles and sit and have a coffee, call a friend and meet for dinner or a snack or just to talk. As to the getting mad/upset/pity mode -- those you have to work on. Rather than getting violent in your anger, it sounds like you internalize it. Something to work on with a good therapist. Okay, I'm done with my lecture. Keep up on the not drinking. I'm glad to hear no urges to drink again. Would you mind giving me your willpower when you're done so I could quit smoking? [/QUOTE]
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