DDD
Well-Known Member
I'm a but conflicted today and easy child/difficult child (a/k/a difficult child#1) is the cause. Maybe, lol, I am the cause. There's no doubt that I do not like giving up control with my children...especially, the boys. My oldest son and I were very close. He married a girl who became pregnant (been there done that so I can't be too judgemental) on purpose (not me, lol). Over the years a bunch of stuff happened and my daughter in law managed somehow to get easy child son to bond to her at the exclusion of his family. Neither I nor anybody else attempted to "claim" him over her. They are both in their very early 50's and when he is away from his wife he is "our" kid and when his wife is present, he is a "dull but polite" stranger.
Now..
easy child/difficult child is in his first serious "relationship". He is living with a woman who is almost ten years older than he and she is completely committed to them being a couple. How committed, you ask??? She honestly uses his last name on FB as if it were hers. WTH? Yeah I remember in middle school writing out my name with some kids last name BUT at 34?? Isn't that bit nutso?? Plus if SS disability ascertains he is married or presenting as married his monthly payments will be reduced. Yuk!
Well, my whine of the day, boils down to "having to accept the things you can not change". Truly I say the Serenity Prayer at least once a day...but...lol (or sad to say) I'm having a hard time this week guys. As you know he and I have been searching for a house he can purchase outright. It is really important to me to know that my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) kid has a home of his own in the future. We may have found an affordable house that will close in February and he will have a few thousand left over from his disability settlement.
YIKES! His girlfriend has alot of influence on him. He feels protective of her because she has had a hard life. OMG...she is choosing all new applicances that they can buy for the house AND wants (or has already convinced him to "charge account" ALL new furniture) for the 2000 sq. ft. house. I used my very best skilled sales voice to explain to him that there were plenty of "new used" applicances and furniture available in our community and that the only thing that they needed as "new" was a bed. My kid said "Mama I understand what you are saying but X has her heart set on new and we don't want to live with tacky stuff." YIKES, again.
I am praying that I can be grateful that he is no longer a practicing alcoholic. I am praying that I can accept that a joint before bed is not the end of the world. I am praying that he truly understands that his disability payments are for a single person. on the other hand........guys, I think I'm heading down that same blankin' path that I traveled over two decades ago. I know that I can not change everything but it really is a bummer to accept that I will soon have to accept that I no longer am the more important influence on easy child/difficult child. Rats, how I wish his girlfriend was less determined to "show the world" that she has finally made it...at the expense of my much loved Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) son. Whine. DDD
Now..
easy child/difficult child is in his first serious "relationship". He is living with a woman who is almost ten years older than he and she is completely committed to them being a couple. How committed, you ask??? She honestly uses his last name on FB as if it were hers. WTH? Yeah I remember in middle school writing out my name with some kids last name BUT at 34?? Isn't that bit nutso?? Plus if SS disability ascertains he is married or presenting as married his monthly payments will be reduced. Yuk!Well, my whine of the day, boils down to "having to accept the things you can not change". Truly I say the Serenity Prayer at least once a day...but...lol (or sad to say) I'm having a hard time this week guys. As you know he and I have been searching for a house he can purchase outright. It is really important to me to know that my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) kid has a home of his own in the future. We may have found an affordable house that will close in February and he will have a few thousand left over from his disability settlement.
YIKES! His girlfriend has alot of influence on him. He feels protective of her because she has had a hard life. OMG...she is choosing all new applicances that they can buy for the house AND wants (or has already convinced him to "charge account" ALL new furniture) for the 2000 sq. ft. house. I used my very best skilled sales voice to explain to him that there were plenty of "new used" applicances and furniture available in our community and that the only thing that they needed as "new" was a bed. My kid said "Mama I understand what you are saying but X has her heart set on new and we don't want to live with tacky stuff." YIKES, again.
I am praying that I can be grateful that he is no longer a practicing alcoholic. I am praying that I can accept that a joint before bed is not the end of the world. I am praying that he truly understands that his disability payments are for a single person. on the other hand........guys, I think I'm heading down that same blankin' path that I traveled over two decades ago. I know that I can not change everything but it really is a bummer to accept that I will soon have to accept that I no longer am the more important influence on easy child/difficult child. Rats, how I wish his girlfriend was less determined to "show the world" that she has finally made it...at the expense of my much loved Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) son. Whine. DDD
