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General Parenting
Years of Encopresis... & not getting better
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<blockquote data-quote="Joony" data-source="post: 276517" data-attributes="member: 7491"><p>First time here so be gentle please! I have just split from my partner over his stepson's encopresis, well actually not just that but that was probably the final straw.</p><p> </p><p>My partern's son came to live with us at aged 11, don't know why he wanted to leave him mum, he is from Portugal so it was a big transition. Since he came to us there has been nothing but problems; problems with school, problems with him understanding simple conmands, rules of the house etc; and to top it all him leaving excrement all over the house and outside.</p><p> </p><p>He shows no embarrassment about it; I know this cud be denial, but he actually throws his stained boxers out his bedroom window knowing someone in the family will fine them. He is a kid who truly has had a neglectful upbringing. He is now 13 and this has been going on for years, at first I had no idea what it was; only thru my own research have I found out it is encopresis.</p><p> </p><p>My partner kept putting his head in the sand and my stepson kept pretending it wasn't happening, I told my partner over the last two years that I wasn't going to carry on parenting his child as it was his responsibility but still nothing changed - my head got sore always banging it against that wall.</p><p> </p><p>Now I am free of them both; please don't think I am being unsympathetic but you can't make something work if the other people involved are just not interested - I can honestly say the last two years of my life have been the most traumatic, stressed and upsetting in my entire life and I am just so relieved now to be free of it all.</p><p> </p><p>I still want to have an active role in both my partner's life and my stepson's; I care about both of them. Stepson has finally got an appointment with Hospital next week to check out the encopresis, or at least have it diagnosed.</p><p> </p><p>I truly feel I am an expert on the subject now! I have been telling my partner to keep stepson on the laxatives, get him to use the toilet after breakfast and again after dinner to get the poop out and that there is a good chance the Hospital will `clean him` out to get things started off.</p><p> </p><p>Just really wanna say hi and I hope you don't all think I am a rubbish stepmum; the problem wasn't really my stepson it was my partner's inability to work with me as a team and actually take on the role of being a parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Joony, post: 276517, member: 7491"] First time here so be gentle please! I have just split from my partner over his stepson's encopresis, well actually not just that but that was probably the final straw. My partern's son came to live with us at aged 11, don't know why he wanted to leave him mum, he is from Portugal so it was a big transition. Since he came to us there has been nothing but problems; problems with school, problems with him understanding simple conmands, rules of the house etc; and to top it all him leaving excrement all over the house and outside. He shows no embarrassment about it; I know this cud be denial, but he actually throws his stained boxers out his bedroom window knowing someone in the family will fine them. He is a kid who truly has had a neglectful upbringing. He is now 13 and this has been going on for years, at first I had no idea what it was; only thru my own research have I found out it is encopresis. My partner kept putting his head in the sand and my stepson kept pretending it wasn't happening, I told my partner over the last two years that I wasn't going to carry on parenting his child as it was his responsibility but still nothing changed - my head got sore always banging it against that wall. Now I am free of them both; please don't think I am being unsympathetic but you can't make something work if the other people involved are just not interested - I can honestly say the last two years of my life have been the most traumatic, stressed and upsetting in my entire life and I am just so relieved now to be free of it all. I still want to have an active role in both my partner's life and my stepson's; I care about both of them. Stepson has finally got an appointment with Hospital next week to check out the encopresis, or at least have it diagnosed. I truly feel I am an expert on the subject now! I have been telling my partner to keep stepson on the laxatives, get him to use the toilet after breakfast and again after dinner to get the poop out and that there is a good chance the Hospital will `clean him` out to get things started off. Just really wanna say hi and I hope you don't all think I am a rubbish stepmum; the problem wasn't really my stepson it was my partner's inability to work with me as a team and actually take on the role of being a parent. [/QUOTE]
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