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Parent Emeritus
yes -i gave in - but.....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 570654" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hello Mog, yikes, that's quite a story! I'm truly sorry you are in the middle of all of this. I have no real words of wisdom for you to help solve these dilemmas, however, if it were me, I would get myself into therapy. These are all large issues which may take some doing to untangle, find your true feelings and what to do about your difficult child returning home, the way your husband treats your difficult child and your husband's lying. These all sound like issues of boundary setting, drawing a line about what you are willing to accept and what you're not willing to accept and how to understand the difference and communicate what you want to those in your life whom you love. </p><p></p><p>It sounds to me as if you are cornered by the choices of others, which feels really bad, I've been in those situations and no matter how you look at it, it bites. Marriage counseling may be another option if he is willing to go since loss of trust is a deep issue which can slowly erode any relationship. From my vantage point it really does seem that your husband's cheating is a separate issue from difficult child returning home, so requesting husband to be nice to difficult child because he is a cheater will likely not produce positive results. You've got a lot on your hands with all of this, I am so sorry, on all counts my guess would be there are deeper issues going on here, which if you can find out what they are and address them, husband and difficult child and you may be able to find a place to stand together. If not, you may be at a point of having to make some difficult choices. Either way, in my opinion, you may need some professional help in finding solutions which nourish your well being. I wish you a smoother path and send gentle hugs your way..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 570654, member: 13542"] Hello Mog, yikes, that's quite a story! I'm truly sorry you are in the middle of all of this. I have no real words of wisdom for you to help solve these dilemmas, however, if it were me, I would get myself into therapy. These are all large issues which may take some doing to untangle, find your true feelings and what to do about your difficult child returning home, the way your husband treats your difficult child and your husband's lying. These all sound like issues of boundary setting, drawing a line about what you are willing to accept and what you're not willing to accept and how to understand the difference and communicate what you want to those in your life whom you love. It sounds to me as if you are cornered by the choices of others, which feels really bad, I've been in those situations and no matter how you look at it, it bites. Marriage counseling may be another option if he is willing to go since loss of trust is a deep issue which can slowly erode any relationship. From my vantage point it really does seem that your husband's cheating is a separate issue from difficult child returning home, so requesting husband to be nice to difficult child because he is a cheater will likely not produce positive results. You've got a lot on your hands with all of this, I am so sorry, on all counts my guess would be there are deeper issues going on here, which if you can find out what they are and address them, husband and difficult child and you may be able to find a place to stand together. If not, you may be at a point of having to make some difficult choices. Either way, in my opinion, you may need some professional help in finding solutions which nourish your well being. I wish you a smoother path and send gentle hugs your way.......... [/QUOTE]
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