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Parent Emeritus
yes -i gave in - but.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 570726" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>You have a 1 percent chance of getting your husband to go to therapy. Doesn't mean <strong>you</strong> shouldn't go. You can talk over everything with a therapist, and while we've got big ears and broad shoulders.......well, it's not so easy to type it all out.......and often it would be a book if you tried. Easier to just sit down and tell someone and let them help you find your way through it. Especially the nitty gritty stuff. </p><p></p><p>But, not knowing the back story, it sounds as if husband is the issue not difficult child. That needs dealt with, not just for difficult child's sake, but because it just does. </p><p></p><p>I had my own tactics that worked with Fred based on his personality ect. Some people would say some of them were mean. I dunno about that. I don't think so. They were meant to get his attention, which they did, in spades. lol Taking out his feelings on one of our kids would have invoked the high wrath of Mom. If he was lucky he might have managed a single bout of it. There would be no repeat performance because his life would be miserable in a thousand little ways. Fred didn't respond to words very much. He responded to direct action. If he had an issue with me, he'd better let me know about it and not take it out on other people, especially our kids. </p><p></p><p>Sounds to me like your husband is directing his guilty conscience toward difficult child instead of settling the matter with you. Razzle dazzle to get you worked up over difficult child/him instead of the real issue......this other woman/him. Know what I mean?? May or may not be a conscious effort either. Razzle dazzle is a technique often learned young, after so long the person doesn't often doesn't even realize they're doing it. </p><p></p><p>Best way to irk him? Tell difficult child to ignore husband that he's just miffed about something else. Then you <strong>both</strong> ignore husband. There can be no razzle dazzle if everyone refuses to play. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 570726, member: 84"] You have a 1 percent chance of getting your husband to go to therapy. Doesn't mean [B]you[/B] shouldn't go. You can talk over everything with a therapist, and while we've got big ears and broad shoulders.......well, it's not so easy to type it all out.......and often it would be a book if you tried. Easier to just sit down and tell someone and let them help you find your way through it. Especially the nitty gritty stuff. But, not knowing the back story, it sounds as if husband is the issue not difficult child. That needs dealt with, not just for difficult child's sake, but because it just does. I had my own tactics that worked with Fred based on his personality ect. Some people would say some of them were mean. I dunno about that. I don't think so. They were meant to get his attention, which they did, in spades. lol Taking out his feelings on one of our kids would have invoked the high wrath of Mom. If he was lucky he might have managed a single bout of it. There would be no repeat performance because his life would be miserable in a thousand little ways. Fred didn't respond to words very much. He responded to direct action. If he had an issue with me, he'd better let me know about it and not take it out on other people, especially our kids. Sounds to me like your husband is directing his guilty conscience toward difficult child instead of settling the matter with you. Razzle dazzle to get you worked up over difficult child/him instead of the real issue......this other woman/him. Know what I mean?? May or may not be a conscious effort either. Razzle dazzle is a technique often learned young, after so long the person doesn't often doesn't even realize they're doing it. Best way to irk him? Tell difficult child to ignore husband that he's just miffed about something else. Then you [B]both[/B] ignore husband. There can be no razzle dazzle if everyone refuses to play. :) Hugs [/QUOTE]
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