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General Parenting
Yes or No to Respite.........
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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 373292" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>Yes to respite -- you and easy child need it. Maybe let difficult child subtly know that you and easy child are preparing for a break (from him), making plans for a movie night at home, snacks, "what do you want for dinner Saturday," (not overtly) etc.</p><p></p><p>Also all the superficial charm they do with others is FAKE (in my humble opinion). It's that superficial charm without emotion or connection that really underpins the whole illness. Whose to say they're having a great time when really they might feel nothing while having a good time and are conscious of that great emptiness. </p><p></p><p>It's chilling sometimes (my 17 does it too -- makes me hypervigilant). Just recently at the 17's Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we were told "We wish we had ten others like him!" husband and I looked at each other and winced. Red flag.</p><p></p><p>Just my 2cents. Focus on you and easy child and make some nice plans in earshot of difficult child. Popcorn, etc. Don't let him know it's chores. Don't do chores! Save some jobs for him and let him know it. I would think about making it a rule that no chores are to be done during respite, unless you or easy child feel like doing them. </p><p></p><p> "Gosh I hate feeling this way. I just want to be my easy going, live and let live person again.........but I just don't know where it is right now."</p><p></p><p>I know exactly how you feel. I think all of us do. You're doing a great job.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 373292, member: 1872"] Yes to respite -- you and easy child need it. Maybe let difficult child subtly know that you and easy child are preparing for a break (from him), making plans for a movie night at home, snacks, "what do you want for dinner Saturday," (not overtly) etc. Also all the superficial charm they do with others is FAKE (in my humble opinion). It's that superficial charm without emotion or connection that really underpins the whole illness. Whose to say they're having a great time when really they might feel nothing while having a good time and are conscious of that great emptiness. It's chilling sometimes (my 17 does it too -- makes me hypervigilant). Just recently at the 17's Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we were told "We wish we had ten others like him!" husband and I looked at each other and winced. Red flag. Just my 2cents. Focus on you and easy child and make some nice plans in earshot of difficult child. Popcorn, etc. Don't let him know it's chores. Don't do chores! Save some jobs for him and let him know it. I would think about making it a rule that no chores are to be done during respite, unless you or easy child feel like doing them. "Gosh I hate feeling this way. I just want to be my easy going, live and let live person again.........but I just don't know where it is right now." I know exactly how you feel. I think all of us do. You're doing a great job. [/QUOTE]
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