Yesterdays therapy appointment-update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by southernmomma, Sep 12, 2007.

  1. southernmomma

    southernmomma New Member

    Morning everyone. I made it back from difficult child's appointment yesterday afternoon and by the time I got back we were in the middle of a horrible thunderstorm so I didn't get a chance to post anything, so here goes.
    It really didn't go like I had seen in my mind. Why is it that children tend to make parents look like total fools? My difficult child was an ANGEL while we were at the therapist office. There were a few moments that he was getting figity and somewhat noisey but he settled down within a few minutes of me asking him to chill out. I was trying to talk with the therapist and she was watching him, I guess studying his behavior (which, by the way, the other therapist didn't do). After about an hour she sent my difficult child outside with my sister in law (and my rock!) and we talked for another hour. She was explaining to me that what she saw was not extremely severe, but did indeed need an intervention. I wasn't quite sure what that meant. She went on to explain to me that difficult child is suffering from ADHD (which I figured) anxiety and I can't remember what she calls it but it is something that he can't understand the "future" fact. (fyi-it's 6:30 AM and I haven't slept hardly at all, so if I get these things messed up or confused, just correct me). It's like his brain can't process anything after now. He forgets to do things, gets frustrated, gets angry. I hope that is making sense. Its kinda like a snowball effect, she was telling me. A typical day, he wakes up and doesn't really know what to expect and he just goes throughout his day and basically looking for some kind of direction. That leads to the anxiety which leads to the anger, which leads to the meltdowns, and so forth and so on. She said it would be benificial if I started each day by telling him what we were going to do and when and remind him through out the day of what was coming in the future so he'd prepare himself so to speak. She wants me to eliminate the element of suprise from anything we do (i.e. don't take him someplace as a reward with-out telling him first--i have a tendancy to do that). She also says that with his ADHD the problem solving skills aren't there like they should be either so when I say "NO" he thinks (hears) "not now, not ever" basically. She also wants me to try and eleminate the word "NO" in my disipline. Instead of saying "NO, you can't have that" try explaining to him short but sweet about how he can have X after he does X or after X. That way his brain processes "Oh, I'll get it, just not right now" That also is something that leads to meltdowns is the fact that I said "NO" A trigger, she said. That is what she's said, in a nut shell. ADHD, Anxiety, and something I can't remember what she called it, and she feels Depression is probably amongst those as well. She said it's rare to find Anxiety with-out depression.
    As far as treatment goes. I'm not sure if it's a doctor thing or a state thing or what, but she informed me that they don't medicate under the age of six which is perfectly fine with me. She wants to continue play therapy with him alone and in a group as well as getting me into counceling. She also wants me to get a full phycial workup and start on an antidepressant from my GP. SO I'm going today for the physical and antidepressant RX. She feels that I need some kind of support system and that my family isn't supporting me the way they should. Ya THINK? So we're on the road to help. We'll see what happens. I'm sure I'll have a few meltdowns every now and again, but I also feel MUCH MUCH MUCH better knowing I have someone I can go to when things get rough and can help me get back on the right track trying to communicate with my defiant and hyperactive kid. I actually feel like i have a direction now instead of swimming upstream. She was telling me yesterday that a lot of first time parents who have a hyperactive child were spoild by their laid back and fun personality as a baby and are totally unprepared for what lies ahead. Oh, She also said that I need to avoid taking difficult child anyplace unfamiliar and try not to take him places that I will be for longer than an hour as the time span will cause him to become out of hand. She also said to try other reward systems instead of getting things for him. He will come to expect it and it will be a hard habit to break after he gets older. So now I have to hope and pray I can find someone to keep my difficult child while I attend the store, meetings, etc. If not, I guess I just won't go. I really hope something gives soon because I'm already starting to feel isolated from the world anyway. I live 20 miles from the nearest town, I live in a small area where I'm the youngest adult and the next youngest (not including my spouse) is in their early 40s. SO yea, I'm pretty much screwed when it comes to any friendships.
    Well, that is about it for now. I'm sure I'll think of something later. I am going to make an appointment. with my GP today and hopefully will be able to start on something to (as the therapist put it) "take the edge off" She thinks there is obviously some depression,but also anxiety. not sure what they give you for anxiety, but I'm requesting to be back on Zoloft for depression. That is the one medication I found that I like and it works for me. Anxiety? Anyone on anything for that? What can you tell me about that?
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Sounds like you're off to a good start with-the therapist. It's always a plus when the therapist at least listens to you. lol
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Very interesting! Please try to remember the phrase she used for not being able to project into the future. That's definitely my son. And I, too, have learned to say, "Tomorrow," or "later," instead of "No." These kids just don't get it and we truly have to watch how we phrase things.

    Why is it that children tend to make parents look like total fools?

    LOL! That's their job!
    In fact, when I took then-infant easy child to our pediatrician many yrs ago, I asked him why she screams in the middle of the night and scares me to death, and by the time I get to her crib, she's sound asleep again like nothing happened. His reply: "Because babies are supposed to drive parents crazy." LOL.
  4. southernmomma

    southernmomma New Member

    My difficult child has been great at making me look like a total fool. LOL. Since day one. He would be running a fever or something, I'd take him to the dr. he'd be fine. He'd cry non-stop for hours, take him to the dr. he'd be fine. before long I got to the point to where i was just calling the dr. back when my daughter was born and he was sick at night all the time--JUST at night now...during the day he was fine. I took him so many times I had acutally heard the doctor say something about ME being the one with a problem! Muchousins (sp?) I think is what they said. Yeah, OK. I knew I wasn't making it up since my husband and i both were sleep deprived. But that's another story. lol. I'll let you know when i remember what she called the not being able to project into the future. I remember it was something having to do with problem solving. Things have been a nuthouse around here today so I haven't had time to even think of what day it is. LOL. We're trying out the "Just say NO to NO" campaign (my husband came up with that..he's as tired as I am...can you tell?) and needless to say it's tough. I went to the doctor this morning on the request of the therapist that I'm seeing to get RXed some anti-depressants. Really not liking them right now. He Rxed me Lexapro (which I thought was something other than an anti-depressant) and Xanax (my "happy pills"). I've been on Xanax before so I know that it works for me, but this I thought i was going to pass out cold after about 2 hrs. I got sooooooo tired. is that suppose to happen???? I laid down and it was all I could do to stay awake. My daughter was asleep but I gotta be on my game with difficult child. Thank goodness for coffee and coke :smile: lol. I also disovered I've lost three more lbs. I have lost a total of 93 lbs since I gave birth to my daughter fourteen months ago. Not by choice, I assure you all.
    Maybe now I'll start gaining the weight back. Even just a few lbs. Well, it's bath time.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you like this therapist and will be getting help. Hugs.