Yet Another Man Thread

[Bunny]

Can you all stand another one?

Last year husband insisted that we HAD to go to Disney World on vacation. We've done it many times (we have a time share down there) and it's become something that I just don't look forward to because of difficult child. It's too much for him. He tantrums over the smallest things and quite frankly, it's no vacation for me because he starts his difficult child nonsense and everyone walks away and leaves me to deal with it. It was a big fight between husband and me last year because I wanted to use our timeshare week to go to Vero Beach. Quiet. Soothing. No running around. It sounded perfect to me. husband said that he didn't want to do that because he didn't like the beach. Well, I told him that I didn't like going to WDW anymore so why should I have to do what I don't want to do if he feels that he shouldn't have to do what he doesn't like? We eventually compromised. He promised that if I agreed to go to WDW last year we would go to Very Beach this year.

The other day be brings up vacation and starts going on and on about going to WDW and when are we going to go. I reminded him what he promised me about Vero Beach. Apparently, that went right out the window because it's not what he wants. Not only did he already decide when we were going, but he told the kids that we were going, asked his parents if they wanted to go with us again this year, and he called my sister and her husband because the week he wants to go is also the week they are going to be down there and how great would it be to meet up with them down there?

And he CAN"T understand why I'm mad about this!!

So now, he decides that because difficult child refuses to go anywhere except WDW, we can't go anywhere and it's all MY fault.

First of all, why is he giving a 13 year old that much power to decide where the family will go on vacation? And why are my needs always the ones that get thrown out the window?

 

[DaisyFace]

Oh my gosh - how ridiculous! There really MUST be something in the air.

Too bad there's not a realistic way to plan on having HIM take care of difficult child while you just relax.

 

[Bunny]

In all honesty, the only vacations I have ever enjoyed since having difficult child are the ones where difficult child stayed home! husband knows that, and he knows that vacations are a very sore subject with me because I come home far more anxious and depressed than I was before we left. It's not something that I look forward to.

It got better last night. husband had to go to Connecticut with his boss and one of the accountants from the CPS firm that his company uses to go over the books of a business that his company bought. I sent him a text message (because he doesn't like when I call him) asking if he got to Connecticut and what time were they leaving. No response. Several hours later I sent a second text asking if he was going to answer me. Again, no response.

So when he finally got home I asked him why he never bothered to respond. If I can't call him, the least he could do was respond when I text him with a simple question. His answer was, " I don't know how to text." Really? Really? He seems to know how to text when he sends messages to his baseball card collecting friends.

 

[DaisyFace]

If I can't call him, the least he could do was respond when I text him with a simple question. His answer was, " I don't know how to text." Really? Really? He seems to know how to text when he sends messages to his baseball card collecting friends.

What a load of baloney! Even if you gave him the benefit of the doubt (perhaps he developed a "texting disability"), there was absolutely nothing preventing him from CALLING...if even for two seconds to say 'I can't really talk right now, but I wanted to let you know I was OK'.

Ugh!!!

 

[hearts and roses]

Honestly, I would stay home and let him go with everyone else, including difficult child.

You stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet, create your own staycation. I'm dead serious.

My H once peeved me off sooooo badly that I let him go to FL to see his parents (his sister and her family met there also) by himself. I'm sure his mother was thrilled but his sister was very concerned...I know my hard line of not putting up with his BS elevated me in his mother's eyes, though she would never admit it.

Do it.

 

[Bunny]

Last year I kept saying that I wasn't going to go and I went anyway. It was okay, but I wasn't happy because I really just wanted to be home. When he started to make plans to I told him to make them without me. He could make all the phone calls. He could make the plane reservations. He could go without me, because he promised me one thing and conveniently forgot about that when push came to shove. That was when he said to forget the whole thing and we just wouldn't go anywhere because of me.

No, it's actually because difficult child just can't make a vacation enjoyable, but husband seems to forget that part.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I completely agree with H&R, let him go and take care of difficult child on his own. You stay home, relax, read books, have lunch with your girlfriends, let him go where he wants, there's no rule that you have to go......... if he has to be responsible for difficult child without you to pick up the slack, you may not have to ever have this conversation again.................

 

[InsaneCdn]

That is, IF... BIG IF... difficult child can survive a whole vacation with husband.
'Cause if mama ain't goin', then difficult child probably doesn't wanna go either... Know what I mean??

 

[hearts and roses]

Last year I kept saying that I wasn't going to go and I went anyway. It was okay, but I wasn't happy because I really just wanted to be home. When he started to make plans to I told him to make them without me. He could make all the phone calls. He could make the plane reservations. He could go without me, because he promised me one thing and conveniently forgot about that when push came to shove. That was when he said to forget the whole thing and we just wouldn't go anywhere because of me. No, it's actually because difficult child just can't make a vacation enjoyable, but husband seems to forget that part.

So can you say that you're not going and stick to it? Will difficult child go even if you're not?

 

[DammitJanet]

I say let them make all the plans, act like you are going or sorta act like you are going in a noncommittal sorta way and then when the time comes suddenly come down with some mysterious malady that makes it completely unsafe for you to go. Inner ear infections are good. You cant be up in an airplane.

 

[hearts and roses]

Or puking, puking is the worst...no one wants to be near you when you're puking...

 

[Bunny]

That is, IF... BIG IF... difficult child can survive a whole vacation with husband.
'Cause if mama ain't goin', then difficult child probably doesn't wanna go either... Know what I mean??

DING! DING! DING! DING!! We have a winner!! ICD hit the nail squarely on the head. Last year when I said I wasn't going it became this whole, "If mom isn't going, I'm not going either. This is supposed to be a FAMILY vacation and it won't be if mom doesn't go."

It's pretty much decided that we're not going anywhere. mother in law called last night and to talk about it and I told her that it looked like we were not going, and I told her why. I think she was a little disappointed.