Hopingforthe best
Member
A short back story of my difficult child.......Like most other difficult children here, he was a bright and well mannered young man until he started smoking pot his senior year in high school. His first semester in college he was arrested with four other kids with gun possesion - my difficult child was going to school one morning - he was attending a state college where he was on a full scholarship when he was called to give one kid a ride. Long story short, all the other kids were criminals who had cases pending at court and they all convinced my difficult child to take ownership of the gun. The case dragged on for two years until a month ago. All along it seemed like an easy case of a naive kid doing a stupid thing and his very capable lawyer had said for all this time that it would be dismissed. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and the case for difficult child was continued without a finding for 4 years with probation and 25 hours of community service, not a very bad outcome if it was for a normal kid.
When the case was going on my difficult child increased his pot use, stole from me at one time to buy pot and failed school. I got him an internship last year in august and when he was paid $5000 for college, he used it in two weeks and didn't pay school. He took a semester off last year but that didn't help and lost his scholarship, and was placed on probation due to failure. He had trouble finding work so i talked to my boss and difficult child was given a job as a driver this summer which he quit after two months without telling me or the boss.
The day we came back from the courthouse, he went to his girlfriend's house who i have never met and stayed for a week and has continued doing the same thing every few days. One of his condition for probation was stay in school or find work, so he told the po that he was going to look for work since he couldn't afford school - which would be okay with me except that he is not looking for work. difficult child has commented many times before that he would sell pot and i suspect he has done it before. Two weeks ago one of his friends told me that difficult child was asking another kid whether he knew people who would be interested in drugs and the friend was worried that's why he told me. A week ago, he went to his girlfriend's house without telling me and called me yesterday to say he was moving out.
I am very worried about him because when i scan his phone record, i see a lot of new numbers within a short period of time and i suspect he is selling weed or other drugs. I know he is still using pot and i want him to get help and my question is should i approach his probation officer and ask for his help in helping difficult child get helf for drug use or would that be bad for difficult child? His lawyer is on vacation that's why i am looking for opinions here. I don't mind him staying with his girlfriend but i am worried because they are staying at the girlfrien's mother's house and i don't even know who they are.
When the case was going on my difficult child increased his pot use, stole from me at one time to buy pot and failed school. I got him an internship last year in august and when he was paid $5000 for college, he used it in two weeks and didn't pay school. He took a semester off last year but that didn't help and lost his scholarship, and was placed on probation due to failure. He had trouble finding work so i talked to my boss and difficult child was given a job as a driver this summer which he quit after two months without telling me or the boss.
The day we came back from the courthouse, he went to his girlfriend's house who i have never met and stayed for a week and has continued doing the same thing every few days. One of his condition for probation was stay in school or find work, so he told the po that he was going to look for work since he couldn't afford school - which would be okay with me except that he is not looking for work. difficult child has commented many times before that he would sell pot and i suspect he has done it before. Two weeks ago one of his friends told me that difficult child was asking another kid whether he knew people who would be interested in drugs and the friend was worried that's why he told me. A week ago, he went to his girlfriend's house without telling me and called me yesterday to say he was moving out.
I am very worried about him because when i scan his phone record, i see a lot of new numbers within a short period of time and i suspect he is selling weed or other drugs. I know he is still using pot and i want him to get help and my question is should i approach his probation officer and ask for his help in helping difficult child get helf for drug use or would that be bad for difficult child? His lawyer is on vacation that's why i am looking for opinions here. I don't mind him staying with his girlfriend but i am worried because they are staying at the girlfrien's mother's house and i don't even know who they are.
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