Our boy is a great soul, kind and fun to be around. Cares about others. Thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with pot smoking. He admits it freely and knows we are very against it because it is illegal. He was caught last summer at 17 had to go through court services, community service, counseling, diversion and charge will be expunged in 2 years if he can stay out of trouble. We paid almost $3000 to do all of this because it was his first time offense and couldn't bare to think our 17 year old would start out life with a record. I made an agreement with him that he would NOT have to pay us back if he quit smoking (didn't happen so he had to write a check a month ago). He is an average student but has the abilities to be a great one and heading to a nearby University in the fall. He works a full time job that he is proud of but has recently made poor decisions and/or not kept track of his schedule. He has accidentally blown off friends, avoids too much contact with Mom and Dad so we know the signs of what is causing this. We are only 3 and we have always been very close and communicate freely. I know that I cannot control his choice to use drugs or alcohol I can only control one person...ME. My father is a life long alcoholic, my sister recently passed from liver failure due to drug and alcohol abuse. The family history is very scary and know that my son is at a high risk of having addictive issues because of this. He is aware of all of these things yet doesn't think that will happen to him...'I am 18, college kids party'. My relationship is changing with him as my natural reaction is to detach myself as much as possible as it is difficult to maintain work and life with my husband if I don't and I cannot 'pretend' that his actions are ok with me. My other response is taking away all of the things that makes it easier for him to buy drugs. We have furnished him a truck and insurance but he is responsible for paying for gas and food. We don't give him any money. When he goes to college he will live in the dorm on an all you can eat plan and won't be given any cash from us. My husband and I have agreed that we need to love him and support his good decisions and obviously not the bad ones. We have never had him want to bolt from conversations until recently as we are constantly on his tail for the things that are resulting from the smoking. So, do we just ignore? It's obviously not helping and he has to decide to make the right choices. Our fears are the same as all parents I suppose...will he fail at college? Will he lose his job? Will he get a DUI? Will he go to jail? Will he kill himself or others in a vehicle? Will he become addicted to other drugs or become a life long addict? I have read multiple other posts and seems my boy is just at the beginning stages of disaster so I am hoping someone out there has advice that we might use to help put him back on the right track. By the way, where we live probably 75% of this age range are smoking...doesn't help and Colorado did us no favors either. When we talk to him about all of these things he thinks he is 'above' all of it and won't happen to him. Teens have a distorted sense of immortality. I am thinking about searching for a counselor but he went through over 6 months and was right back at it after his diversion was over. As a side note...I was never a drug user but do drink. My husband was a drug user for 2-3 years in high school and is a moderate drinker now. The activities our son is engaging in are very similar to my husbands past. We can only pray that our son's use will be temporary as my husband's was.