2 year old son found drugs in his dads home

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Barbie1989, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. Barbie1989

    Barbie1989 New Member

    Hi my 2 year old son found a box with cocaine and a rolled up 50 note in my exs apartment I was there and grabbed it off him how should I react what should I do??? My son is my world wouldn't want him to not see his dad!! But I'm so worried about him finding more again and I'm not there this time to take it off him! Please help!
    Thanks x
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would not allow him to go back there until ex can ensure there are no drugs to be found in the apartment. I guess all you can do is trust his word. I just hope you do not have to find out the hard way if he is lying now.
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    2 yr. olds are really small...I'm thinking the box must've been lying around in a fairly obvious place - like a coffee table or something. Do you know where he found it?
    It wasn't even like it was in the top shelf in a closet or something - it was clearly just casually laying around. That is insane. I wouldn't let child go there unsupervised under any circumstances.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    You can walk right into court and demand supervised visitation. A man on drugs is in no position to properly supervise a toddler!
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I would suggest you have your son drug screened as well. just in case this has ever happened in the past and you didn't see. I nearly adopted twins both of whom were removed from parents who had drugs and residue around. both had drugs in their systems. I'm really sorry but he only should be allowed supervised visits for now. many hugs for you....
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    OK...I'm curious. What did your Ex do or say about the incident? I'm sorry you are in this position Barbie but can't toss out any advice unless I know more about Ex. Welcome aboard. I'm sending you a supportive hug. DDD
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would probably be very leery of two year old being with his father. Is it safe? Does he smoke this in front of son? Is he high? I would probably need to know more before bringing him over again. Cocaine is very dangerous and your son's dad can't watch him well if he's wasted. Son's safety supercedes father's right to see his kid. And if father is a dope addict, your son probably should NOT see hm.
  8. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    OK this is a safety issue for your son. If he found drugs in his dads home and got injested them it would be very very serious for him. So I dont think he can visit his dad in his home alone. The courts in general worry about drug using parents so going and asking for supervised visits after this incident makes sense and also drug testing for your ex.

    I think it would be likely after an incident like this that CPS would be called. You might want to call them yourself and report the incident and ask them to investigate. I know that is a very scary prospect as most people do not want CPS in their lives... but in my work I have seen them do a lot of good. They would be very concerned about your sons safety in this situation.

  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hi! I am so sorry you are going thru this.

    I honor your sentiment that you don't want to separate your son from his dad. But that's not your choice to make. It needs to be his dad who prioritizes his son over his substances - not you. And right now, you need to prioritize your son's safety over his time at his dad's house.

    Please know that my answer really wouldn't be any different if your son had found a bottle of aspirin or the drain cleaner or a lighter or a sharp knife or a bucket of water. Toddlers get into everything even when they are well watched. Your son should never be in an unsafe environment; especially one you KNOW to be unsafe.

    How is your relationship with his dad? If it's decent, I would insist that your Ex childproof his home completely and to your satisfaction. I would buy him a lockbox to use for his medications and whatever else. And I would help him do it and inspect his place before you leave your son there. (And if it's still unsafe, I would take some surreptitious pics with your cell phone and make sure that you stay with your son while he is there. An then not let him go back and use the pics to show your ex "why")

    And if your ex balks to childproofing, I would welcome him to see your son at your home or the library or another safe place (paternal grandparents?)

    FWIW, my own baby is 15.5 and when he was wee, his pediatricians strongly advise ALL of their patient's families to NEVER have codeine products in the home. To the point of asking families to request pain killer alternatives for THEMSELVES whenever possible. Why? Because an OD on coedeine KILLS. People lose the reflex to breathe and by the time someone notices a child has gotten into the pills or whatever...it's too late.

    I am sorry if I am being harsh, I don't mean to sound unfriendly...but I also realize that YOU know your child is at risk, and that's why you found us.

  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Illegal drugs and large bills add up to trouble. No two year old should be around a using father unless supervised. Get in frount of a judge and demand supervised visits. -RM
  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My worry for you is that if something happens to your son at his dad's house and CPS finds out that you knew about the drugs and yet let your son go to his dad for unsupervised visits, you will lose your son also.

    For his sake and your sake, I would stop all unsupervised visits at this dad's house and insist that his dad comes to your house for visitation. If he fights it, then tell him you will call CPS and report what your son found at his dad's house.

    I know that you feel torn but your child's safety has to be paramount here.

  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: What everyone has said is right. PLEASE for your child - go to the court NOW. File for supervised visitation - you may need a protective order. Your son cannot have any kind of relationship with his father if daddy is on drugs... And even more horribly if he gets into them, what could happen to him. Please. And he does NOT need to go to his father's home if this is possible. Library, McDonald's, Mall, with supervision and I am NOT joking. If ex won't allow you to be around or throws a fit, try for your parents or his or a trusted friend. If he still won't go for that he can deal with NO visits for now. It's admirable and awesome that you want your son to know his daddy, but daddy cannot be trusted if he is using. PLEASE go to the court. ASAP.