A thought for parents of young children

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by susiestar, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    There is a discussion in the General Forum about Children's Rights above Parents Rights.

    What the problem this asks about is the icky fact that in many states a child as young as 12 or 14 can REFUSE medical treatment. In some states it is 16, in some it doesn't exist.

    I learned about it when my son was 6. We already had problems. I knew that if we ever lived somewhere and he could refuse psychiatric or medical treatment, he WOULD. So I talked with my husband and my parents.

    husband and I agreed that if and when our son EVER did this, he would have to find a new home. We would walk away from him as there is not any way we could live with him and watch him self-destruct.

    My parents are very close to him, and to my other kids. We talked to them about this and they agreed we were on the right track. If one of our kids refused medical/psychiatric treatment (or refused to let us see his medical records) then that child would NOT be coming to them to live.

    While my difficult child DOES live with my parents, it is not because this issue. He has told us he thinks that is a fair rule, and that he is not really capable of doing the research needed to make these decisions.

    While we have ALWAYS listened to our kids when they told us how medications/treatment made them feel or affected them, and we have adjusted things many times based on this, we still stand by our position.

    These are not decisions children should make, or even have a weighted part in. Listening to them is one thing, letting them decide or keep us out of records is another.

    I still have access to my son's medical records. My mother still has access to mine (she frequently helps me make sense of what is going on, and I help her with her stuff and am on most of her medical records as OK to see).

    I thought this might be something you all with younger kids might want to think about and start planning for. The earlier you start with "this is how it is" the better. For some of you, never mentioning it will be best. You will be surprised at how many psychologists and other providers will try to tell your kids their "rights". If you get there first with a plan, you at least have some way to handle it.

    Hugs to all!