A visit tonight....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Yup, wm is coming over to the house to visit. I'm beyond caring if he comes one way or another if it will get him to shut up. Mental health worker & an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker will be with him & he'll be here an hour.

    Of course, he wants to search the house - not going to happen. There is nothing here that he owns anymore. He can check out the main floor - we can play a game. I thought better yet I'd have a fire going in the fire pit & makings for s'mores. Then he & I can check out the plants he helped me pick out & see how they're really taking off.

    Wish me luck.
     
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending good vibes and prayers that all goes well.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well it sounds like you have plans for a nice visit. Smores and a game sounds fun to me. I love smores! I wonder if I start driving now if I can be there for the next visit...lol. Really odd you say that because Cory is collecting wood in his backyard so the next time Keyana comes over they can make smores...lol.

    What on earth does he think he is going to find by searching the house? I wouldnt dare do that at my dads! I do look at the pics on the walls and stuff but I dont search.
     
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Janet, wm is a hoarder & is convinced some of "his stuff" is still here. Additionally, he wants to go thru his dad's office & see if there is stuff that dad "promised" him.

    Well, all of wm's things are with wm; husband never promised wm anything - I have everything that husband would give to wm. I will do that when he is a bit more respectful of things. While I don't have a great deal of husband's things here I have a few that bring powerful memories for me & at the same time some comfort.

    wm at the funeral took husband's fedora off the coffin & took it home. He started destroying it so foster mum took it away & gave it to me until wm decided he wanted it to wear or whatever - not to destroy. I know wm is angry that husband died, but he's also a greedy little guy. :mad:

    I think the s'mores & sitting out back on the patio are good ideas.
     
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hope the visit goes well for you two. I think your plan for how it's structured is a good idea.
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I truly hope all goes well. Please make sure someone who can physically control wm is there. In my experiences with hoarders they can get really violent if they feel thwarted from searching or from taking an item that they fixate on. Be sure he KNOWS if he starts to search he must leave and if he takes anything it is stealing and will be dealt with as you see fit.
     
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sure you will have someone there to help, but I agree with Susie.
    I also like the idea of keeping him busy to help keep his mind off of wandering and thinking about the other things.
    I hope this is as painless as possible. It would be so nice for you to have a visit with him come out with little anger from him.
    it would be good for him also to have a "normal" outing and to be a big boy, act responsible and mature... hopefully.

    Good luck and prayers to all of you

    Funny N was asking about S'mores last night as well!!! Something is in the air. LOL
     
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda, good luck. I wish for you both a lovely, stress-free hour!

    Just remind him that his actions will determine if he gets to do this again.
     
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope you have a pleasant visit. Enjoy the s'mores! I love those things!
     
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Good vibes going out. I understand about things like husband's hat. difficult child is the same way.

    "But this is sentimental to ME and I have to have it."

    He gets it and it's destroyed. So much for sentiments.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!
     
  11. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs and I hope the visit goes well.
     
  12. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Keeping fingers crossed and sending many good vibes. Hope it's a good visit, my friend.
     
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