Amateur tdocs here, I have a question for you all

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I reconnected with an old friend via email. S was in our wedding, and because of various issues, arguments and behaviors, we just quit speaking. She moved to the Dakotas, we moved to the E. Coast. Haven't spoken in 35 yrs.
    She saw my little sister, then decided to look me up. Found me through a poetry website.
    We started emailing. Fun! But ... it got weirder and weirder.
    She is still hurting from being bullied, and among other odd emails, sent me one about karma--kids in our elementary school who died or had family members die. J. was shot during a drug deal; S. jumped off a bridge; P's son was killed in a car crash.
    Huh? Someone bullies you when you're 9 yrs old and they deserve to die before they reach adulthood? And the one that bothered me the most was the mention of P's son who was killed in a car crash. I would never, ever, EVER wish that on anyone, no matter what they had done to me.
    I ignored that email. I responded to a few others.
    She also writes emails about sex and uses vulgar language.
    I'm letting the relationship slide, deliberately. NOW I remember why we distanced ourselves.
    She loves to say the most outrageous thing she can, preferably in public, to create the biggest response. It's like she's screaming, "Pay attention to me!" But it's bad attention. What's with that?
    She's 57 years old.

    Have at it. Just curious on what her diagnosis would be. (And yes, mental illness makes me sad. This is way beyond bitterness.)
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Some sort of personality disorder, maybe? Histrionic? Borderline? Interesting how, in a way, she thinks about or revels in revenge. "Good that they got theirs." The bad language and sexual discussion seems like problems with judgment and/or impulse....possible hyper sexuality. Those traits often go with bipolar illness. Impossible to say. Sad. Hope she finds her way to good therapy.
  3. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    People sometimes will do or say anything to get attention. That's why you parted ways a long time ago. Stuff like that would eat me up and I would quit responding to someone like that. Jeez, at 57 one would think she would have mellowed....
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know. I agree.
    Thank you. It's just hard to let go, emotionally ... so many memories came flooding back, and then I realized, oh, yeah, about that attitude. About that bizarre behavior ...
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Don't you wonder what she has said to other people about you if she keeps grudges that long and strong? NO ONE could be good enough to not make her angry at some point. Reminds me of one of my great aunts, Aunt R. Way back in 1929 she did not get a white confirmation dress because, well, it was the Great Depression after all. How do I know this? The last time I saw her was in 1989 and she went into an absolute TIRADE at my great grandmother (her mother) over this. Seems her life was HORRIBLE in every way because of several things, but mostly because she did not get that white dress 60 years before. The fact that NO ONE in her class got a white confirmation dress (as shown in the photo of the event), changed nothing.

    Your friend and my Great Aunt R have too many mental health issues going on to diagnosis. As my fave psychiatrist would have said, the general diagnosis is "M&C". "M&C", you ask? "Mean and Crazy. Sometimes there just are too many things to list the indiv diagnosis's".
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Susie...even though MI isn't funny...that did make me smile! Many thanks. : )

    Terry...sounds like you are making a great decision! I KNOW you don't need this added "stuff"

    PS I'm having problems with posts. If I hesitate or pause between sentences, I can't continue. I have to post and then edit. Anyone else having this problem???
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Susiestar and Nomad, lol!
    Yes, I'm sure she's come up with some doozies about us.
    She has a brother who is gay, and I can guarantee you, I know why they aren't speaking to one another. :(
    She doesn't seem to care what she says to anyone's face.

    In reg. to posts, sometimes mine acts up but it's been better lately.
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    What do you think would happen if you said, "What do you mean?"

    Maybe, in explaining to you, friend would come awake to what she is doing?

    Friend would be someone still trapped in the realm of the Magical Child. Is she sort of threatening you, or does she seem afraid?

    Last edited: Sep 7, 2014
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Scent of Cedar, I don't think it's either one. She's not afraid or threatening. She's outrageous.
    She can say some jaw-dropping things, and will mostly back off, but then the "damage" is done, because she's gotten the attention she wants. She makes me tired. I don't want to have to deal with teaching someone. I've got my hands full with-difficult child and my cousin. :)
    I think it's more than teaching, as well. I seriously think she needs mental help.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sometimes you just don't need contact with people. there are a lot of people I used to know who I have realized I don't need in my life for this very reason. Just let her slip back into her life, and you slip back into yours with-o her crazy infecting your life.
  11. hopeandjoy66

    hopeandjoy66 Member

    Terry, you just described my mother. She is always out to shock people. She would say these things just out of the blue. She said this to my sister in laws friend whom she had just met. Out of her mouth comes...."Do you have sex in this sauna?" The stories I could tell are jaw dropping. She also holds a forever grudge. Unfortunately, but necessary, I had to have my mom no longer be a part of my or our families lives. Sorry, I have no diagnosis for her or your friend, but apparently your friend has an older evil twin. LOL