An update...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by happymomof2, May 30, 2009.

  1. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    Of sorts and a question - been awhile since I have been in here and I apologize. I have went back to work part time and the 2 days a week I am off that job I am babysitting my niece so I am basically working full time right now.

    My son turned 16 - he is still managing to stay out of self contained. He almost blew it yesterday. Well I don't think they would have thrown him back in self contained for this but it still scared the cra* out of me. His english teacher 1st period so nicely gave him his FCAT reading scores and he failed. He thought he aced it. He called me from 3rd period and told me "mom you gotta come get me, I am going to get into trouble if I stay here". I was at work and he said he would call my sister. I told him to call me back - long story but the phone calls went back and forth. Sis went to get him and they couldn't find him!!!! I started to panic.

    Guess it doesn't matter how old they get - when they come up missing - it is so scary. The bell rang for 4th period and he showed up in that class thank God. She took him back to her house.

    He basically did a good thing by calling me - he was trying to do preventive maintanence. I told him I admired him for that decision - it's just after that he kinda handled things wrong by going to a different part of the school and visiting with a teach from last year. Oh it's o.k. son don't follow procedure just go where ever you want to. Aughhhh!!!!! :nonono:

    The attendance lady said she could write him up for doing that but looked at his history this year and seen that he didn't have any referrals so she said she wouldn't this time.

    Problem was he freaked - he knows he has to have 2 years of a foreign language to get into a 4 year university. He thought he was totally out of college. Because of the adhd and his thought patterns he didn't stop to think there were ways he can still get all the credits he needs.

    He is doing much better with his temper - he will have a flare up occassionally but not near what it use to be.

    I do have a question for those of you whose dear little ones have gotten old enough to move out and get a job. Does it get better? Have they called you from there work asking you to come get them because they couldn't handle it? Or if they drive - just left work? What is this kid gonna do in the adult world? Mommy can't go talk to the college professor or boss and straighten everything out.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have a mood disorder/anxiety disorder/mild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I called my mom at work until I was stable at 35 :tongue:. She would never come though. She'd tell me to call my husband and she'd hang up on me. I would have bad panic attacks and my hub was not a nice man. So I called her, but she set boundaries and insisted I call hub, who didn't care. Nor did she, really.

    I think it all depends on how high functioning your child is. My son who has autism probably won't ever call me, but he will need some sort of adult to help him out--we are thinking of an assisted living apartment. It's impossible to predict how the kids will turn out. My druggie daughter is highly functional. She quit using and now just bought her own house. It's something we would all like to know, but we have no idea.

    You CAN put your foot down when they get older, like my mom did. She couldn't just leave work to get her grown kid. She would have gotten fired. At the same time, she detached from me to the point that I truly think she stopped loving me. But that's a whole other story...
     
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I hear you and I have the same concerns. I'm trying especially hard to back off on the mommy support. What I mean is that I'm still going to be here as a safety net but I have to back off and let difficult child fall sometimes so he'll know how to get back up. I've been guilty of preventing the fall and realize my mistake and hopefully not too late. My son is 10 now (11 in the fall) so I have a few years to do a few things right. Hugs, ML
     
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