tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Duckie will be participating in the school's Red Cross Swim Across in a few weeks. She's called my in-laws to see if they'd sponsor her. They said they'd et back to her. 
Annoyed with my in-laws
- Thread starter tiredmommy
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Ok...that is just sad. Makes me cringe as a grandma.
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Thanks everyone. Duckie took it well. It's par for course unfortunately.. and it's really not about the $$$. She got no words of encouragement, they didn't ask if they could come watch. Nothing. Nada. Meanwhile, my aunt talked to Duckie at length about what she'll be doing, where the money goes, etc. She congratulated Duckie for giving of herself for a worthy cause. My neighbor and her daughter signed right up... even her scout leader sponsored her. But Grandpa & Grandma... they'll get back to her. 
LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Been there......(although my side not the inlaw side)
Hugs.....
Sharon
Hugs.....
Sharon
SRL
Active Member
They said they'd et back to her.
Now you know what to say the next time they call and want something from you. ;-)
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
You're assuming I'll be answering the phone. Caller ID is a girl's best friend!
My ex in-laws NEVER support my kids in anything. My difficult child just had his last basketball game last week and although my parents took time out to be there, once again no support from his dad's side of the family other then his dad. Unfortunately for the kids, they get used to it and learn to expect very little from those kinds of relatives.
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
You know... I've discovered that BM is a lot like this. Support the kids' school stuff? Ha, ha, very funny.
HOWEVER... mother in law and father in law will if asked. sister in law will if asked. husband and I will... if asked. My parents? Only if the child asks, and can tell them why it's a good idea. BM's mother? Well, she would IF the kids would ask!
A couple of years ago, Onyxx's school had a PTO fundraiser. I brought the thing to work, and she hit up everyone in the family. As a result she was in 2nd place in the school. BM informed her "I don't have the time for this stupid stuff." Onyxx came to our house crying that day... I could've cheerfully smacked BM with a 2x4. Anyway I digress... I helped with distribution, sorting, etc. at the school. I won't do that any more - I cannot take the time off work, and Onyxx was mortified. How horrible that her STEP mother stepped in when her BIO mother did not!!!
Regardless... I agree with the phone answering thing!!!
HOWEVER... mother in law and father in law will if asked. sister in law will if asked. husband and I will... if asked. My parents? Only if the child asks, and can tell them why it's a good idea. BM's mother? Well, she would IF the kids would ask!
A couple of years ago, Onyxx's school had a PTO fundraiser. I brought the thing to work, and she hit up everyone in the family. As a result she was in 2nd place in the school. BM informed her "I don't have the time for this stupid stuff." Onyxx came to our house crying that day... I could've cheerfully smacked BM with a 2x4. Anyway I digress... I helped with distribution, sorting, etc. at the school. I won't do that any more - I cannot take the time off work, and Onyxx was mortified. How horrible that her STEP mother stepped in when her BIO mother did not!!!
Regardless... I agree with the phone answering thing!!!
Mattsmom277
Active Member
Hey, can I sponsor Duckie???? If you'd like to pm me a mailing address, I'd love to be a long distance sponsor!!!
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
{{{M}}} That's really aweet but not at all necessary. Duckie has been able to raise $100 already so she's doing quite well from a fundraising standpoint.
Marguerite
Active Member
TM, it's sad that your in-laws are like this. But hey, some people are just jerks. Even those who should actually exert themselves and make an effort - they are still jerks.
Kids need to learn that adults around them are not perfect, that there are grades of people who can be relied on, through to those who are a waste of space. She needs to learn that even people we love, who say they love us, can be a disappointment sometimes.
It's a nasty lesson, one that is best learned gently and slowly, while you're young but also while you can be cushioned at least a little bit.
In an ideal world, kids should never have to experience this. But people are basically selfish. Some of us are better able to actively work to overcome this basic innate selfishness tan others, that's all.
The end result - Duckie will learn, sooner rather than later, that that particular set of grandparents can't be relied on. The earlier she learns it, the earlier she will learn to extend this experience to develop a thicker skin over it as well as a thicker skin against the same thing in other people in her world. It will help her cope better with the world's disappointments in general.
And very soon, if not already, Duckie will have a sound, solid understanding of her grandparents and their unreliability. That will actually be her gain. And very definitely, their loss.
Hug her, love her and make her realise that their behaviour is not reflection on her. It's not personal, directed at her. If anything, they would probably stir themselves more for her than for anyone else. Which isn't saying much, of course.
As I said - their failing. Their loss. Not Duckie's fault in any way, she needs to understand this. When it all boils down, the only person you can rely on for certain, is yourself. Anything you ever get from anyone else is a bonus to be grateful for and to not take for granted. And whenever other people let you down - that is their failing. You always have yourself and your self-reliance.
Marg
Kids need to learn that adults around them are not perfect, that there are grades of people who can be relied on, through to those who are a waste of space. She needs to learn that even people we love, who say they love us, can be a disappointment sometimes.
It's a nasty lesson, one that is best learned gently and slowly, while you're young but also while you can be cushioned at least a little bit.
In an ideal world, kids should never have to experience this. But people are basically selfish. Some of us are better able to actively work to overcome this basic innate selfishness tan others, that's all.
The end result - Duckie will learn, sooner rather than later, that that particular set of grandparents can't be relied on. The earlier she learns it, the earlier she will learn to extend this experience to develop a thicker skin over it as well as a thicker skin against the same thing in other people in her world. It will help her cope better with the world's disappointments in general.
And very soon, if not already, Duckie will have a sound, solid understanding of her grandparents and their unreliability. That will actually be her gain. And very definitely, their loss.
Hug her, love her and make her realise that their behaviour is not reflection on her. It's not personal, directed at her. If anything, they would probably stir themselves more for her than for anyone else. Which isn't saying much, of course.
As I said - their failing. Their loss. Not Duckie's fault in any way, she needs to understand this. When it all boils down, the only person you can rely on for certain, is yourself. Anything you ever get from anyone else is a bonus to be grateful for and to not take for granted. And whenever other people let you down - that is their failing. You always have yourself and your self-reliance.
Marg
mog
Member
It makes me mad that people do that to kids!! My in-laws are that way with my biological children which really angers me because I took on husband's kids as my own and so did my entire family -no discrimination--but they always leave my kids out. Even my step daughter asked me one time why my parents are the only ones that treat all four of them the same? How do you answer that? Neither step child graduated high school and when easy child did she invited all of his side of the family to the party and not one of them came-called or even sent a card.
Hope Duckie doesn't take it too hard. Tell her we are all routing for her!!
Hope Duckie doesn't take it too hard. Tell her we are all routing for her!!
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Yes... our Sunday School raised $200 for Haitian relief.
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
So she swam today, did 24 laps. She probably would have swam lots more except that she and bff were side-by-side and they actually talked while swimming for most of their 30 minutes in the pool! She raised $135 for the Red Cross.
She raised $135 for the Red Cross. 
