difficult child has been back in town for nearly 2 months. At the beginning of June, he made a plan to come for dinner every Sunday night. We saw him each weekend in June (between Father's Day, the graduation activities, etc) and not since. He made plans to come by on Sunday June 24 to say goodbye to his grandmother (she spent the weekend of PCs party)and didn't show. When we did see him, things were awkward but cool. I invited his girlfriend and her parent's to easy child's big bash - more of a "keep your friends close and your enemies(not really) closer" idea. And I wanted them to see that we are a happy NORMAL family with friends and 2 happy pcs. To their credit - they showed. VERY AWKWARD, very cool -- especially the mom - but the dad made an effort to be warm and cordial, thanked us profusely for including them etc. And since difficult child had bombed us with a "You won't be friends with girlfriend's parents" during our January debacle, I wanted to throw the ball right back at them. (figuratively and literally) Trying to let difficult child's no shows roll off my back. H and I vowed to each other that we wouldn't chase difficult child. Easier to say than to do... H and I went to see MIB 3 (movie) on July 1. Very touching father son scene at the end. I cried on H's shoulder, told him that he was such a good father to difficult child and that I was so incredibly hurt by the way difficult child had turned his back on us. And that I am so worried about him. And that I had texted difficult child during the week to see how he was doing in the 100+ degree heat and he had blown me off. Later that week, I text difficult child to wish him a happy fourth. No reply again. I check his phone history to see if he is getting my texts and see that he and h had a few minute long conversation on July 2. I blow my top. H and I made a deal that we would always let the other know if we had been in contact with difficult child. And H didn't tell me - even though he knew I was really worried about difficult child's well being. H claims that he had called difficult child to tell him to get in touch with me and he though difficult child would. And he wanted me to think it came from difficult child. Which is not cool with me at all. Still not cool with me. I love my husband with all of my heart but the strain this is putting on my marriage is starting to choke me. I do get a text from difficult child stating that he's sorry can't make Sunday dinner on the 7th because he's away for the weekend but he can come for dinner one night during the week? I suggest Friday 7/13 because his Aunt & Uncle & cousins will be visiting. (he hasn't seen them since 1999. He loves his boy cousins, they are similar ages, they keep in touch) He tells me he cant make that night because he is going away for the weekend of the 13-15 too but will come for dinner on 7/15. Of course, he calls me at 4 that he won't make dinner because he won't be back in time. I tell him that WE will be out of town the following weekend, so next Sunday is out. Guess what - he will actually be on vacation from the 20 through the 28th with his girlfriend's family so he wasn't available then anyway. Can I mention that my birthday falls during that week? Of course, he didn't mention it. He made tentative plans to come for dinner on Wed this week but I am not holding my breath. At H's request, he stops by for about 2 minutes that night to pick up some mail that looked important. Of course, H had shone the flashlight through the mail and it was a letter from his University stating they were closing his readmission application because he had not provided the documentation they requested. H loaded him with a "oh a letter from University. Are you registered?" And difficult child replied "yes, I just have to pick my courses". LIAR So here's the confession: I get wind of a huge drinking party on Facebook. Event page is public and difficult child & his girlfriend have "going to blah blah event" on their page. Stupid young people. A big 21st kegger bash and bring your own goods... tons of details on the event page. So, at 10:30 pm - an hour after difficult child left here - (I am guessing to go to the party) I tip off the police anonymously. I don't know if the police went (the parents were hosting it, so they may have run interference with any searching) but the page was down and the party thrower's personal page was squeaky clean this morning. No guilty conscience here. Hoping it prevented a drinking and driving accident. The young man who stood in my kitchen last night is not my son. He stood there, talking a little too fast, boasting too much, exaggerating his success, yet all the while he was slightly swaying from foot to foot - a sure signal (since he was 2) that he was lying. He was like Joe Isuszu (remember him - the lying car salesman?) And yet - he was so familiar and so very much a stranger at the same time. I hate it.