another rough nite

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi to everyone

    i've been running around all day, getting prints done for new job. saw my first huge pysh unit out here, ok it overwhelmed me a bit to be honest. It was like somethinig out of a movie.

    ok, last night was rough again with difficult child. shes been climbing the past almost 2 weeks it is now i think. I'm hesitant to increase medication again on my own, i have pyschdoc appointment on tuesday.

    so i had to give up and have her come lay down iwth me in my bed, it was the only thing that would work is me holidng her close. it was 2 a.m. and i had had enough.


    so, what does everynoe else do on these nights with our difficult children?

    do you always have them channel it that's what i do through drawing, etc. yet now i'm realizing with work around the corner i cannot function very well on 4 hours of sleep. we may need another medication increase, yet the whole brushing, wrapping, etc breathing just isn't working now. she's too high up for that. between xmas, the play i convinced her to stay in, my job that she now knows about.

    any thoughts on what others do in the wee hours of the a.m.??? i've contemplated just letting her sit on my flr while i go to bed and let her get it out and draw for hours yet i'm afraid of the behavioral affect and it becoming a pattern. i called the T, yet she hasnt' gotten back to me in a week now and missed one of our appts also. interesting...

    thanks!!!!!
     
  2. compassion

    compassion Member

    ((( ))) to you! As I said in my thread about very manic it is NOT easy. Channeling energy helps alot but that is exhasuting too. I agree you need more than 4 hours of sleep. So do I. I would have her sleep next to your bed like you said. Compassion
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I wish I caould help- difficult child didn't have issues like this until he wa a bit older. At the younger years, if I thought he'd have trouble sleeping due to anticipation of something happening the next day, I just did the typical things like serving dinner early, early bath and calming down period- allowing extra time for tucking in and reading a book, etc, then made him stay in his bed. If he stayed still 15 mins, he would be out for the night.

    Now he has sleep issues sometimes but he is older so I might tell him to get in bed, but there's only so much I can do, as you know. One thing I won't do with my son, unless he's physically ill or highly depressed or emotional, is give him any attention that could be perceived as "quality time" if it's during a time period that he is supposed to be doing something else.
     
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi and thanks for the input and thoughts. We've had this talk before regarding techniques at bedtime, soothing, etc. yet she's too far gone for that. There has to be something that can be done besides drugging her up to completley sedate her to have her utilize this time. I do not spend any quality time with her at all. I know with my difficult child this would only create a sitaution whereas she would purposely stay up. Than i'd be confused between the disorder and behavioral. Which at the end of the day i think there is always a certain mix of it.

    I can tell you what though I need a stronger team behind me than a Therapist of whom missed an appointment and calling me back after 3 messages left. that's soo not cool.

    There has to come a point I think that difficult child learns to begin to notice her behaviors her body, sort of like Linda's thread regarding wm. She has to start taking notice of herself and not rely on the medications that much. She'll sit there and say oh well this medication isn't workign with her hands on her hips. cute, yes?? funny at 2 a.m., ummm not!! LOL

    If i knew her body could handle it and she wouldn't get sick i'd just let the child stay up and create recipes, write her songs, draw her pics' change the world at 3 a.m. yet i know that regardless of manic or not her body at this age requires a certain amt of sleep.

    it's an issue we have struggled with sense birth.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    She'll sit there and say oh well this medication isn't workign with her hands on her hips. cute, yes?? funny at 2 a.m., ummm not!!

    Oooh, I can just see that! My difficult child does that ... but not necessarily in reg to his medications. with-his hands on his hips, he'll say, "You have to call Dad when you want me to do something. How sad is THAT?"

    You need your sleep, Jennifer. I would suggest that your daughter is old enough to stay in her rm by herself and not bother you at 2 a.m. If she's dead tired in the a.m., she's going to have to figure out another way to handle it. (Assuming you make a plan first, then implement it in the a.m., so she isn't required to think on her feet when she can't function.) I was just reading Helicopters and Drill Sergeants and it seems like a lot of the ideas in that should work for kids with-emotional issues and sensory issues ... it just takes 10 x longer. :) (In fact, I'm going to post a new note in that regard.)
    So, what does she do ... wake up the entire household by yelling? Jump on her bed and make noise? Turn on the TV? Or does she head straight for you?
    (My difficult child used to wake up the entire household with-his screaming and yelling when he was younger. I think that's when I first came to this board.)

    I'm trying to figure out if you are her Security Blanket, so to speak.

    In regard to not spending quality time with-her, in my humble opinion, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're letting her guilt you into giving in because she knows how to work you.
    You can definitely spend quality time with-her once you've gotten used to your job, and you'll probably get a cpl days off for the holidays, right?
    I would take that out of the picture when it comes to her sleep habits. Compartmentalize the issues a bit.
     
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Terry

    hi how are you?? LOl..... i'm tired but happy. if that counts for anything.

    So, when i said i dont' spend quality time with her i should of been clearer, I meant i dont' spend quality time with her when she's supposed to be sleeping. I dont' draw with her at 2 a.m. or sing with her or jump with her. Besides that, sure we spend tons of time together and I dont' feel a bit guilty about working. nope, not at all. plus it'l be around her schedule.

    If I try to contain her, which I try to do two nights a week when boyfriend's kids are home it's a nightmare situation. She wakes the other kids, she screams, sings, jumps, dances climbs, you name it!! oh my ..........!!!!

    Here's my deal, I don't want to leave her alone because I don't trust her. I really don't. She does odd things, and i don't want to run the risk of leaving her alone and waking to her doing something destructive.

    difficult child is huge huge emotionally needy. Bigtime, yet it's been going fairly well during day especially weekends i've been trying this new thing someone gave me an idea here about. I'll say ok difficult child i'm going to go and i pick something i'm going to do alone, it could be as simple as go into the bathroom lol, but when i come out we'll do this together. I flip flop it all day long. It's working pretty well, she still has her slip ups of being behind me to the point where if i trick the child could easily fall up my *ss so to speak. lol.

    Yet at night i am not flip flopping anything. difficult child is able to channel really well at night yet every now and again and unsafe thing will occur, either with food she touches or huge kitchen scissors of knives, etc. (note to self hide knives).

    As far as the manic carp and sleeplessness she's not anxiety ridden she's happy ready to go, she could run a mile, paint a house, draw a picasso. It started off as an infant until she got accustomed to being born i always say lol, she was sleepless, part of losing my marriage was we weren't tough enough or strong enough together to handle her undying demands even in infancy. Yet i've noticed the manic stuff has increased thru the years, as have the responsibilities of being older schoolwork, tests, reality has. which makes total sense to me.

    Now granted i'd much rather have a ridiculously happy kid up and bouncing about than where we were last year with her hysterical crying every night for hours before passing out, that was before the medications, when she was in as the school put it crisis mode.

    i've learned alot by being here and i've also learned that as they grow and the hormones kick in the behaviors change. That is why i'm so against allowing this mania to go thru the nights, because as we enter into pre puberty and she begins to realize more and more ok this is soo not cool i have to get to bed i have this, this and that tmrw. her aggrivation will grow and i'm assuming the behaviors will no longer be just drawing pics and stuff.

    so, hmmm what do you think????
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I meant i dont' spend quality time with her when she's supposed to be sleeping. I dont' draw with her at 2 a.m. or sing with her or jump with her. Besides that,

    Ohhhh. I get it.


    If I try to contain her, which I try to do two nights a week when boyfriend's kids are home it's a nightmare situation. She wakes the other kids, she screams, sings, jumps, dances climbs, you name it!! oh my ..........!!!!

    That sounds like my difficult child when he was about 4. He was LOUD! He was actually pretty good from about 4 mo's to 11 mo's. Then he learned to clilmb out of the crib and I had to move him to a real bed. Sigh. Too bad he had a wood floor or I would have let him fall on his noggin a few times to learn natural consequences!

    Here's my deal, I don't want to leave her alone because I don't trust her. ...She does odd things, and i don't want to run the risk of leaving her alone and waking to her doing something destructive.

    Is she susceptible to suggestions such as "if you do xyz in the middle of the night, abc will happen"?


    during day especially weekends i've been trying this new thing someone gave me an idea here about. I'll say ok difficult child i'm going to go and i pick something i'm going to do alone, it could be as simple as go into the bathroom lol, but when i come out we'll do this together.

    Excellent!

    difficult child is able to channel really well at night yet every now and again and unsafe thing will occur, either with food she touches or huge kitchen scissors of knives, etc. (note to self hide knives).

    Yes, we hid the knives and scissors for a long time. I also put away several fragile collections ... I thought once the dogs were old enough and stopped chewing, I could put the items back on display, but then difficult child was the one who ended up being destructive. If it's not one thing, it's another!

    I have to say, now that we've gotten past the match- and fire-lighting stage, and the knife- and scissors stage, we're onto other things. Just when you think you've figured it all out, they come up with-another behavior.

    As far as the manic carp and sleeplessness she's not anxiety ridden she's happy ready to go, she could run a mile, paint a house, draw a picasso.

    Hmm. Maybe you could put that to good use, but you said you don't want her having the run of the house. I'm thinking you could suggest that she really DO a Picasso, for ex, as a gift for someone. On one hand, it will keep her quiet. on the other hand, it will not get her to sleep.

    Also, I'm thinking I'd tell my difficult child, "If you're going to be awake at 2 a.m., you may as well be doing the laundry." Then I'd stand there with-MY hands on MY hips and say, "Well, I guess THAT idea isn't working!" LOL.
    But really, I have done similar things and the threat of real work makes him go back to his room, at least.

    Now granted i'd much rather have a ridiculously happy kid up and bouncing about than where we were last year with her hysterical crying every night for hours

    Definitely. But lack of sleep is still lack of sleep. Have you tried asking a therapist for ideas? I can't remember if you put that in an older note. (Sorry.)

    as they grow and the hormones kick in the behaviors change. That is why i'm so against allowing this mania to go thru the nights,

    I hear you!

    You've removed dyes and food colors, and caffeine, right? I'm probably just clutching at straws ...
     
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I hated the sleepless nights of difficult child. I was always worn out and my patience thin. We let him watch tv but that usually wasn't enough, he always wanted to be doing something and wanted someone to do it with. He couldn't be left alone, no way, no how.

    When difficult child's psychiatrist found out how little he was sleeping he added in medications for sleep. I hated the idea but have to say it has helped tremendously. He started on Trazadone and now takes Clonidine.
     
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Coming in on this late just to say that I hope last night was better and everyone is awake today rested.
     
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Terry thanks. I didn't see your response. i've had easy child issues past day or so to handle. never a dull moment it seems.

    I've removed caffeine, dyes for the most part as well. i'Tourette's Syndrome not an all the time thing, she used to have a pattern 4 days up and 3 down when there was no medication in place. yet now she's just up there is so so much going on between play, school obligations, christmas next week. she's flying high no doubt. ok the therapist has jumped ship on me hasn't called me back and she missed an appointment. time to look on the insurance website for another i guess. i should of known when she said your daughter watches (whatever show it was) it was for younger kids and I said yes and she said "oh that's weird!" don't they teach them to never use the word weird??? holy!!

    I"m at a loss with her sleep issues, i'm guessing tuesdays doctor appointment he's going to want to increase seroquel again. they wont' let me give her chlonidine for sleep. he hates that medication the doctor.
     
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