Well... my alternative title for this post was "Bemused and befuddled"... Even more than I have been. So... this afternoon we had the long-awaited appointment to see the pediatrician at the hospital in the nearby largeish town. This, I thought, would be the route to a sensible diagnosis, or the ruling out of one. Picked J up early in the afternoon from school and he went to sleep just as we were arriving at the hospital. Had to shake him awake and, as always when he is awake but wanting to sleep he was calmer than usual... The doctor seemed... how can I say? Jovial but somehow not very emotionally engaged. What do I know? First impressions... however, instead of a serious consultation, what I got was a longish philosophical discourse in which he said the following things, after I had first given him a short report from J's teacher in school in which she said that he was spilling over with energy, needed constant supervision, was frequently in trouble for being too brusque with the other children or not respecting the rules of life in a group (report written around Oct of last year, I think he's probably less turbulent now) but that in class he remained seated, concentrated well and finished the tasks he was given without problems. This set the tone for the doctor who immediately said that on the basis of this report he would never prescribe Ritalin because it was only to help children study in school not to make children calm and less trouble. Fair enough... but I am not seeking medication right now but rather a diagnosis, which I said to him. Then followed an interesting but philosophical speech on his part about how labels were not good things, that it was up to me to take on the responsibility of bringing him up and channelling him whatever doctors said about him and that on the basis of what he saw J could never be called hyperactive. J sat quietly for some of the time - so bloody untypical, wouldn't you know it - but then did get up and was playing around with the controls on the scales, which did not seem to bother the doctor at all. I told him this was untypical and that I was looking for some certainty, some understanding. He said I would never have certainty... That no-one really understood ADHD and it was to some degree subjective. He said often what was called ADHD was just over-masculine boys or a certain temperament... He seemed quite uninterested when I talked about the physical hyperactivity, the impulsivity,etc. Just said that children were difficult to raise and that is just how it is... I told him about the child psychiatrist locally who had said she was virtually certain J was ADHD within half hour (I am seeking a second opinion because really she is not very confidence-inspiring either) and apparently she is the local expert on ADHD!! He seemed to find it funny when I said I wanted a diagnosis and just said there was nothing to be done and I couldn't have one... So I now have one doctor saying he almost definitely is ADHD, and another saying he almost definitely isn't and in any case tough luck, and a third saying he is hyperactive but that is because I am divorced and he is trying to be the man of the house!! I can take my pick, I guess... Where do I go from here? I've now run out of all the possible local sources. Really it's enough to make you give up and go home.