Hi all, I'm new to this board. And I've been "scolded" by some of you for staying (or being) with my boyfriend, who has the child who brings me here. I shared some of his parenting habits and they didn't go over so well! They were met with comments that basically said, "what kind of idiot are you to stay with this man?" I have backed off for awhile just to give myself some thinking room. But something bothers me...something has always bothered me about my boyfriend. I know that maybe I've presented him as "bad" or an awful parent. That's really not how I meant it...to bash him, I mean. I'm trying to understand him and why he is the way he is with his son (ie., uninvolved and clueless). I don't know how to explain it, but he just doesn't seem to "get" things. He has NO clue how to empathize or consider things from another's viewpoint. It's not that he's a bad person, he truly just doesn't get it. He'll look at me with a blank look when I try to explain it. It's not defiance or a sociopathic personality, he truly just doesn't seem to comprehend the notion of empathy. He's a very black-and-white thinker -- he just can't grasp anything abstract. But it's not for lack of intelligence. I believe that intellectually he is very smart. He fixates on TV and the computer to the exclusion of any other hobby or interest. He has his own issues with anger management, but in a very different way. He goes from completely calm (which is 99.9% of the time) to explosive anger in a nanosecond. Never toward me, it's only toward his son. It ALWAYS happens when his son, B, defies him or is acting out. He is not violent or physically abusive (although he will spew out swear words like nobody's business). However, he has on occasion physically dragged B to his room. And it's not every time B is acting out...just certain occasions trigger these explosions. Then as fast as the rage came on, it goes away -- he's perfectly calm again like nothing ever happened. No "simmering down" or talking it out. It's just over and he is "normal" again. He has odd social skills. It's not something you would probably even notice upon meeting him, but I know him well enough to know that most social situations make him uncomfortable. His gestures, his eyes darting about, the sometimes inappropriate comments he makes -- they're all things I've noticed. He has peculiar habits in public. He REFUSES to ever sit at a table in the middle of a restaurant where people can see him -- to the point of almost panic. He'll leave if no booths or hidden tables are available. He avoids crowded places. Could this be adult Asperger's Syndrome? On a whim I Googled it and was shocked to find that my boyfriend holds MANY of the characteristics. Maybe I have been getting angry with him for something that is a neurological deficit and out of his control? Maybe this is what his son suffers from, as well? Does anyone have experience with this?? I don't know how (or if I even should) approach this with him. Maybe it's none of my business and like the previous advice...I should just stay out of it.