Anyone heard from Shari?

susiestar

Roll With It
Has anyone heard from Shari? I have just been thinking of her a lot this week and wondered if she was doing okay and how school was for Wee and how cgfg was doing.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Umm, I'll let her know you're thinking of her! Cgfg is... cgfg. Wee, on the other hand, is doing awesome...!
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
Thanks for thinking of me! I'm sorry I have disappeared. I just can't get the hang of the mobile site, and that's where I'm usually at. I need to do better.

Step nailed it, though. Wee's having a birthday soon, and he invited his class. He has a lot of kids coming to his party. He's so excited and I'm excited for him.

Cgfg is...cgfg. Currently she's in deep doo for not doing more homework to the tune of a term grade of 22% right now. I got an email from her teacher Friday that she didnt' do an essay. She came home and told her dad the teachers confused everyone and all the kids got the email, but the essay was finished and at her mom's. He took away her activity for the night.

We ran into her mom, then, at the store, and she went seeking sympathy from mom for dad being mean. Instead, mom said "you worked on it all week and didn't turn it in?"

Then we got home after picking up her stuff from mom's and dad asked to see the essay. Not even started. And she got mad at ME for lying to her dad about her mom thinking it was done. I dialed mom up and her story started changing real fast....and thats pretty much how its been...
To top it off, she's been reading all weekend and someone finally asked about it. She had to read 3/4 of the next book by Monday. Its been assigned since last Monday. And she started Friday night.
Custody is being drawn up by the lawyer. I'm not sure I want this change. The homework thing has just been worse since. But....it is what it is.

difficult child 1 is doing well, and easy child 1 is planning his wedding. I am doing well. Started riding lessons as I'm just not getting my seat and balance back...enjoying it immensely! husband is...husband. My patience is thin with him.

Susie, I was thinking of you the other day, too....have you heard anything about that doctor's trial? I can't find much on it and have been wondering.

And no, not hay season yet, Starbie, but been fertilizing! And seeding the bare spots. Fun stuff.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Cgfg is... well, probably stressed out. Transitions are often a huge problem for difficult children... Who knows what all is burning up her resources and causing her to act in ways that are self-destructive. You won't really have any clue, nor any way to figure it out, until the arrangements change and she starts working on the real transition (rather than the lead-up to it). I think you're handling it right, though... she knows that you CARE, whether she likes the particular intervention or not...
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Glad all is going fairly well, esp Wee and your riding! I can't find much on the doctor either, except that he pleaded not guilty in Jan 2011 and in Sept 2011 a comment on a dr rating site said his license was suspended as he went through trial. There isn't anything else out there that I can find. I do find it interesting that there is NOTHING. Either the trial is delayed or the victim recanted and the press doesn't want to say anything because it flies in the face of the "he is so awful" coverage that they did. I am NOT saying he is innocent - I don't know. I know he didn't do anything to Wiz, but Wiz was so verbal that he would have been a really stupid choice of victim, esp with the ODD that would have ANY attempt to make him be quiet result in Wiz screaming from the rooftops. And threats to hurt us would have had him doing whateveer so that they would be carried out. That is just where Wiz was back then. Glad we have moved on, and glad he was that way IF it was needed.

I just never know with the claims. We have a family friend, a man the family was very close to, who had a girl make accusations. We knew him well, he was my dad's best friend, and even though the girl came out and ADMITTED that she lied because she was mad that he called her mom and she got into trouble, his life was RUINED and NEVER recovered. Once accused of this, you are guilty no matter what. Esp if it is ever in the papers. Even if the accuser lied and admits it, the papers won't print that except buried somewhere, and often people just think the accuser was pressured to say they lied. This man's entire life was derailed and it never bounced back - he lost so very very much and it was awful. He truly was a GOOD person, dedicated to helping educate kids in the worst areas of town, and to raising his kids to be good people. I just never know with these things after that.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
I'd agree with you, IC, except this has been cgfg's MO for years. This is no different than what she's done before. The stakes are just higher, and there seems to be an inkling of cooperation going on from mom instead of just blaming me for making **** up...what she's doing though? not a lick different. I fully believe with appropriate levels of supervision and had she not been taught to lie and deceive that she would NOT be a difficult child. I know that is incredibly judgemental from a parent of a difficult child, but when we did get her in tutoring? She did fine. When we did talk mom into a token economy for her? She did GREAT (ZERO missing assignments or F's). But it was too much work for mom...
Susie, I have been able to pull up the court website and find some info. The trial was still on last i looked, and maybe supposed to start soon (or maybe even last week), there's just absolutely NO coverage of it now. He voluntarily stopped practicing...don't know more about his license...
He was one of the founders of that really good school there, too. So sad, because either way, he's done. If he did it, he deserves it. If he didn't, they lost a *&^% good doctor. He caught the dyslexia in Wee in their second session, and he absolutely nailed it. I am certain he didn't do anything to Wee, and its unfortunate we'll never know what more he could have done for Wee, although, like I said, if he truly is guilty? Not worth it.
And the heck of it is, we'll probably never really know.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
Jury trial was to start in Feb, and parties agreed to strike it...now it is just a bunch of status updates...
Not sure what that means.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
What part of your sit is becoming hard for you? Usually it's trot or canter. I was taught very little. Most of my ability came naturally, but luckily was born "on a colt" so-to-speak. Sometimes when you lunge your horse before you ride him and it's in the morning and quiet? Just close your eyes and listen to his hoof beats, how they hit the ground, how he inhales, exhales as you put him through his paces. - Can you picture yourself mounted in the saddle? Can you picture yourself rolling forward slightly on exhale? Be one with the horse/motion he produces naturally. You aren't a rider on a horse - you are an extension of a vertebrae your spine/his spine - all rolling in one solid motion as you canter.

I've never made fun of anyone that can't sit a horse, but I always have felt badly for any trotting horse who had a rider pounding on his back/spine.

A few other tips I can think/remember - Don't hold on with your thighs and knees. I'm assuming you're riding Western. Adjust your stirrups. Somehow I have you pictured as a shorter rider - under 5'5? Lower your stirrups when you are sitting so that just your toes touch the stirrups, and stretch your calf muscles BEFORE you ride. Stand straight - and cross one leg over the other, bend at the waist now reach for the ground slowly - palms on the ground? Hold it. (okay palms close as you can to the ground you're trying to stretch your calves and back here not pick up socks) then come up slowly - round your back.....and cross the other leg over your opposite leg and repeat. Try that - and see if you maybe don't need to lower your stirrups a tad before lessons.

Also - check the horse you're riding. If he's notoroiously bucky? He may be older, have arthritis and riding is painful for him, he made need more of a warm up. He could also be higher in the rear than he is in the front. Those are ALWAYS the ones so much fun to ride. Like a downhill ski trip. I'm sure you two will find your rythm. I've already seen Wee ride a mule !!! ABSOLUTE correct posture in that picture if you ask me - bent over and hugging the big lug. :flirtysmile3:No better way to ride - lol.

Hugs & Love
Miss you
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
Hahaha! I made a mobile reply!!!! Yay!!!!
Maybe I can figure this out and not be so absent!
I've never formally learned either, Star. We just did it. But since the accident, I just dont have the motion in the ankle and just can't get a good feel to my canter. We went on a big group ride one day 5 or 6 years ago and i forgot something and rode back to camp, then back to catch up with the group. I had a beer in one hand, the reins in a finger with the beer can, and holding my hat on with the other, flying down an open trail. There's no way right now! Lol. I just can't get that comfort level back yet.
The lady I'm riding with, tho, has a treeless saddle and thus far it has helped tremendously. That and just riding bareback.
My pony is a good boy. No buck to him and very tolerant. I don't have the strength to pull up on him like I used to, either, so if I don't have a block (or an improvised one) its more like scaling him to mount. Lol. He puts up with me. Lol. But I promised him it won't be this way forever.
And when wee isn't hugging the mule, he has an AWESOME seat. The other night at practice, they started yelling at me to come look. He had picked up the canter and was running circles
Around the arena. He hasn't done that since the very old horse he had first and he's been gone 4 years.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the update. Some of that sounds like my difficult child. ;)

Stay on it. Good for you!

Would you have time to PM me your FB name? I have a long list of people who want to friend me but I don't click accept unless I know who they are. Then again, I could already be "talking" to you. ;)
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
WELL.......you could try what those beauty queens do and hairspray their butts so that what you want to stay put? Stays put. To me? It sounds more like you are having ankle phobia than horse problems. That accident was severe, painful and left you with a LOT Of emotional garb~ageee. My untrained, unprofessional -friend to friend opinion is that you have one good ankle and if you break that - then what? (goes through your subconscience). Also even if you are FEARLESS - motivating an 800-1200 lb animal - unpredictable...with one good foot is daunting. I'd say you're on the right horse, and will get your rythm back. I don't think it has a thing to do with your sit lady - I think it's all about your foot. Just a thought. Mind over matter vs. time in the saddle. You'll figure it out. And maybe? Maybe the beer was the secret - NO just kidding....just kidding. LOL.........hicup. JUSSSSH KISGHONING. hic....(said to horse) "WOW...why so long in the face frieeeeend?" hic!

CHEERS!
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
OHHH and I could expect an updated MULE picture......(POKES FRAME FURIOUSLY) but alas.......
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
You nailed it, Starbie. It is 80% in my head, 10% physical adjustments to my physical changes/abilities/lack of abilities, and 10% just plain out of practice!

And its not the good ankle I worry about breaking, its the bad wrist. And its not subconscious, either. lol That wrist is healed, but it still shows evidence of having some osteoporosis, and if I hit the ground on that thing from 5 foot up, I imagine its breaking again. lol I have thought about wearing a brace, but I figure it is probably better to take the chance of breaking where it is already weak than breaking another place.

But that's it in a nutshell. I need some saddle and posture adjustments to compensate for what I lost, and I need to find my rhythm again.

And the beer might not be all bad...
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Star has good ideas/info, except for that stretch. There is NO way I could figure that out, lol! Bareback riding is one of the best ways to get that confidence back and feel more in tune with the horse. It is also a good way to rebuild your trust in yourself AND your horse.

I totally agree with what you said about the doctor.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
I think I figured it out, Susie. You cross your feet then put most of your weight on the leg in front and stretch the one in back. I think. lol Not sure if that's correct but that will be a great one for me because it seems to stretch that calf in ways that I can't otherwise! YAY! Thanks!

Mule pics, coming up!
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
Ps - starbie, with regards to the beer comment... my hand therapist invited me to her clever container party one evening. I stopped in on my way to my lesson.
She gave me a glass of punch that I promise you was a)wonderful and b)alcoholic, tho I was not aware. I am adamantly against drinking and driving, but i didn't realize "the buzz" until I got out of the car at my lesson barn.
Best lesson ever. She said she was going to start all future lessons with vodka.
Just thought I'd let ya know. You were right, as usual.
 
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