At a loss

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jughead, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. Jughead

    Jughead New Member

    My 13 y/o daughter made a suicide attempt by hanging herself in our backyard this weekend. The genesis of the suicide attempt was that she had gotten into trouble for seeing her 13y/o boyfriend she had been banned from visiting while she was at a friend's house. She also lied to the friend's parents and said it was okay for him to come over. Her punishment was that we would not be revisiting the issue of whether or not she was mature enough to have this boyfriend, and she didn't seem fazed by it. However, when I told her the boyfriend was getting in trouble because he had gone over to the house without telling his parents where he was going, that set her off. I wonder if it was a true suicide attempt because she waited until I got into the yard to do this (she claims she just took a while to make up her mind and she had not waited for me to return, but I have my doubts) and she called to me to come get her down. She didn't have a mark on her neck, it was all pristine and so it does seem like a show. After I got her down and we talked, she was very upset when I told her that she could very well need to go inpatient or switch schools to get away from this boy. Then she spent all weekend working on an English project which she was making a movie and getting ready for Spirit Week, including dying streaks in her hair and getting clothes for the different events each day. I don't know what to make of this. She doesn't seem depressed, she never did. It seems so manipulative, and I'm so angry and upset with her. Yet I don't want to ignore something that is this serious. I'm trying to get her into a therapist today. She had a history of some minor transitory depression, once again revolving around this boyfriend. She gets excellent grades, has a healthy friend base, is smart and engaged at school. She is just so damn manipulative, I think. I'm so upset and angry with her, but then I feel guilty because what if it's for real. And certainly I have to treat it as real, hence the therapist. I'm also afraid the state will intervene and put her inpatient if I speak to a therapist about the attempt, even if it was not a true attempt but simply a manipulative show for my benefit. I have a sister who went inpatient and she went in kind of messed up and came out a true basket case with a lot of learned behaviors including a drug addiction and some truly startling sexual promiscuity.

    I did want to share that my daughter seems totally happy, normal, and said she is not considering suicide now, and never will again and says she sees new clarity in her situation and how foolish it was, and all this about 10 minutes after her supposed suicide attempt. I told her that not everybody who successfully kill themselves really wanted to be shut of this world, many people were just trying to make a statement or scare somebody, and ended up actually doing the deed, because once it's done you can't take it back. I just don't know what to do.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I don't have a lot of time. Always take any threat of suicide seriously. Call the police every time. If they are bluffing, they will get tired of dealing with the police. If they are not bluffing, you will have saved their life and they might get some help.
  3. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Definitely call police anytime she threatens suicide or attempts suicide. I'd get her to a psychiatrist and therapist immediately.
  4. Tylersmom1979

    Tylersmom1979 New Member

    I always tell my son if you try to kill yourself i have to call the police. Because thats me doing my job. Because parenting a child, especially with issues, is a job. Im always on call and never know when he is going to have a bad day at school and get set off and get depressed again when he is home by himself because i have to work.
  5. tandemdame

    tandemdame Member

    Jughead, what a sad story and a difficult dilemma for you, my heart goes out to you. I would treat the attempt seriously, even though after talking to her she has indicated the event is behind her. How frightening and difficult this must be for you.