N
Nomad
Guest
A year ago my cousin passed away. I have very few relatives...it was a big loss for myself and horrible loss for her immediate family. She was in her early fifties.
She has two young adult sons. One took it decently, the other didn't do well at all.
I flew out to see her right before the end. She passed away three weeks later. I did not go to the funeral since I just saw her...and also cause I was working on a large school project at the time and was already a little behind on it due to the previous trip.
During my trip out there, I made good friends with the mother in law. I tried to get to know the husband and sons, but they seem to be gone all the time...I attributed some of to being sad and overwhelmed and simply trying to keep their minds off of the tragedy at hand. She had been sick for many years and they knew what the final outcome would be.
One thing that was really weird for me is that the husband spent part of the time while I was there having coffee with- a woman who he began dating shortly after the death. It was noticeable...but I did my best to remain mum about it. It bothered me that he didn't take time to have coffee with- me...it was a very long flight and I really wanted to hear more information about the health of my cousin. However, he did need respite. It's just one of those VERY horrible situations...again...she needed much care and it was a long time....lots of complications and sadness. Also, I am very grateful to the husband who took excellent care of his wife, my cousin.
Flash forward to now and my questions and concerns...
While I was there, the family said they would do their very best to attend my son's upcoming wedding. Yet, when the time came...no one atended. Money is not a big issue for these folks.
I have tried to keep in touch with- this family...and they have more or less made it clear that they have little or no interest.
I have requested a photo of my cousin...yet none was sent.
I am hurt by it all and feel particularly sorrowful and weirded out that it seems I have lost touch of her two boys...have no idea why.
Should I concern myself at all? I had great rapport with- the mother in law and she is almost snubbing me.
What gives? Any thoughts? I think they are super practical folks and their thought is well...that WAs MOM'S cousin, mom is gone....she reminds us of mom and so let's just hope she goes away.
Sad, right? Should I do anything? Ya know what is weird...FOLKS TOLD ME NOT TO GO OUT THERE AND SPEND ALL THAT MONEY TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY COUSIN, ET I DID THIS. I do believe that was the right thing to do. But it is interestig, that her o family does not see me as anything part them.
She has two young adult sons. One took it decently, the other didn't do well at all.
I flew out to see her right before the end. She passed away three weeks later. I did not go to the funeral since I just saw her...and also cause I was working on a large school project at the time and was already a little behind on it due to the previous trip.
During my trip out there, I made good friends with the mother in law. I tried to get to know the husband and sons, but they seem to be gone all the time...I attributed some of to being sad and overwhelmed and simply trying to keep their minds off of the tragedy at hand. She had been sick for many years and they knew what the final outcome would be.
One thing that was really weird for me is that the husband spent part of the time while I was there having coffee with- a woman who he began dating shortly after the death. It was noticeable...but I did my best to remain mum about it. It bothered me that he didn't take time to have coffee with- me...it was a very long flight and I really wanted to hear more information about the health of my cousin. However, he did need respite. It's just one of those VERY horrible situations...again...she needed much care and it was a long time....lots of complications and sadness. Also, I am very grateful to the husband who took excellent care of his wife, my cousin.
Flash forward to now and my questions and concerns...
While I was there, the family said they would do their very best to attend my son's upcoming wedding. Yet, when the time came...no one atended. Money is not a big issue for these folks.
I have tried to keep in touch with- this family...and they have more or less made it clear that they have little or no interest.
I have requested a photo of my cousin...yet none was sent.
I am hurt by it all and feel particularly sorrowful and weirded out that it seems I have lost touch of her two boys...have no idea why.
Should I concern myself at all? I had great rapport with- the mother in law and she is almost snubbing me.
What gives? Any thoughts? I think they are super practical folks and their thought is well...that WAs MOM'S cousin, mom is gone....she reminds us of mom and so let's just hope she goes away.
Sad, right? Should I do anything? Ya know what is weird...FOLKS TOLD ME NOT TO GO OUT THERE AND SPEND ALL THAT MONEY TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY COUSIN, ET I DID THIS. I do believe that was the right thing to do. But it is interestig, that her o family does not see me as anything part them.