babysitter backed out

[Jena]

so is this a sign?? Wow, I asked my old babysitter like a mos. ago if she'd be able to cover hours until my cases were assigned and i'd be there to pick up difficult child?? Her answer, sure no problem. Than yesterday we confirm on the phone, she just wanted to double check on one day if she could fit difficult child in the truck. She runs a small daycare from home. Other than that we were in total lockdown.

Today I get a voicemail message, doens't even wait to speak to me directly and it says oh i'm sorry i just won't be able to do it, blah blah blah good luck???

Well, so now i have no sitter and it's umm 5 days till my first day of work. boyfriend is taking her the first day he's off, yet by tuesday i'm officially umm screwed so to speak.

I figured at some point it would get hairy yet not this soon. It's really too late to go trying to find someone I can trust with difficult child, teach them about her, acclimate her to them, etc. unreal.

 

[bran155]

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. Nothing ever goes smoothly!!! So now you are on a mission, 5 days to find a miracle. Jeesh!! Don't make yourself nuts over it. You can only do what you can do!! I hope everything works out for you.

Good luck.

 

[klmno]

Jen, I think you should start calling day care centers- not the home type but the business type. Then, take your time and find a situation that you are more comfortable with. But, a business type day care center will at least buy you some time. Your difficult child might not like it, but the social interaction and structure might do her a little good.

 

[Andy]

Oh no!

I so understand you situation. On my 2nd day to work when difficult child was four months old, I went to drop him off at a daycare center only to face a notice of closure in two weeks! I still can't believe management didn't know this was coming when I signed both difficult child and easy child up. I did insist of my deposit for easy child and the two weeks money back that I had paid for services not received. I refused to write a weekly check so we compromised by me paying one month in advance.

I went into my supervisor and told him he had me for two weeks and then I would have to leave if I couldn't find daycare. It had taken me months to find this spot. I worked part time and most providers require full time payment regardless of shorter hours watching your kid. Fortunately a co-worker had a daycare provider who had an opening. It was perfect, difficult child would arrive after the school aged kids left for school and picked up before they arrived after school. And, I only paid for hours he was there!

I hope something opens up!

 

[BestICan]

Hi Jennifer, sorry you're in such a pickle.

I've used www.sittercity.com with success before, but I'm not sure if they have sitters in your area. You might want to try it. You can post a little bit about your difficult child's personality and see if anyone responds (use some details in your profile as a way to pre-qualify them). You can also look for sitters who state that they can handle special needs, ADHD, etc. Some of the career babysitters out there have a long list of kids with special needs on their resumes. Good luck!

 

[Jena]

Hi,

Thanks for the ideas, klmno i can't use that for difficult child because she needs to be picked up from school each day along with being dropped off as well at school in a.m. It never comes easy.

I just think that this woman with whom i've known for 2 solid years, our kids have played together, etc. would do that to me so short notice and not even have the b***s to tell me to my face, yet she left a voicemail message. wow.

Plus, difficult child needs time to adjust to a new person or situation slowly. Throwing her into a new situation at this point will not be good for her without proper time to adjust. So I can't do that to her. Tha'Tourette's Syndrome the difficult child way, yet most kids need adjustment time, she just needs alot more.

ugh. I think what i'm going to do is start working on finding someone now, go to hr mtg. tmrw like it's all good, go to work monday like it's all good. boyfriend will have her that day. than if nothing comes by monday which i'm sure it wont' i'll just have to sit down and tell them. Hey i'm new and i have no sitter. great. What I hate is that i had the talk with difficult child already about who would be watching her, etc.

wow i am soo never saying hi to this woman again in the schoolyard. yes, i am two

 

[4timmy]

Boy, I know this kind of thing creates MAJOR stress and anxiety for me, so I feel for you! So sorry! I'm still kind of looking for that perfect care situation and have yet to find anyone I can rely on or trust. You can try the online thing - google search babysitters online.... I did this once and really didn't like my choices for my area and it cost me $25 to subscribe to the site.

I wish we all lived in the same area, we could pitch in and help each other in these situations....

 

[Andy]

Check to see if there are any before/after programs at school or a nearby YMCA? Our School district provides transportation to a school aged day care center at the YMCA in our town.

Some schools allow early drop off with breakfast provided.

 

[klmno]

That's what I was thinking- like Andy suggested- the day care provides transportaion. You could take her in a little while this week; boyfriend could drop her off for a couple of hours on Mon to help get her adjusted before she's starts regularly. I think it might serve you better, if you know you aren't going to have a sitter, to call the place this week and tell them your sitter just backed out and ask if you can start a week later than planned so you can have next week to find another one.

 

[Jena]

4timmy yes we could help one another out!! LOL it's the life of the single parent this fun!!

Klmno and Andy thanks so much for the brainstorming i do appreciate you guys you are the best, yet difficult child cannot handle that type of situation i tried that before it is disasterous for help complete shut down mode and anxiety thru roof, panick attacks. she doesn't handle large groups well.

it's going to come down to me posting an ad hiring one person to be with her and me telling my new job hte situation and see if they'll be patient with me

 

[Jena]

maybe it's a blessing in disguise, maybe difficult child was meant to be with one person. who knows. gotta do the lemonade thing again lol. well, let's see just how much this new job wants me lol........

 

[Jena]

What do we think of this ad::: putting it on local website for town.

Local Mom seeking mature, responsible, caring, patient woman to care for my 4th grader x amt. of days........etc. etc.

drivers license a must, references as well.

looking forward to hearing from you.

 

[Shari]

A couple years back I hired high school senior girls (cause difficult child got along with them best) to come to my house every morning and get difficult child up and on the bus to school. I got every one of them thru the high school guidance counselor's office and they were all PERFECT. Of course, this is small town USA, but its worth a shot.

And I'd imagine your difficult child would be even more enamored by a high school girl because, well, she's just that age where those girls are "all that and a bag of chips".

 

[Jena]

Shari,

thanks, not a bad idea. yet i need someone with a drivers license to pick her up from school and drop off. difficult child can't do buses either. list never ends lol. i do drop off and pick up she's never done bus before. i put the ad on the site, and will just have to break the news on monday when i go to work and see if they still want me. ther'es various training at different pyschiatric units that i'm not sure i'll be able to attend if i have to leave at 3, plus i wont be able to get in my 40 hours.

 

[Shari]

All my girls were 18, licensed, and had been driving at least 2 years with no tickets, but not sure what your driving requirements are. He was bussed to another city, but they could drive him if they needed to.

 

[KTMom91]

I would check with your local community college, if there's one close by. They usually have a job placement office, and you might even be able to get someone with child care experience.

 

[susiestar]

There are quite a number of business type day cares who drop off and pick up.

also, go into the school office (or email since school is out) and ASK them who they know who does private daycare. There is a lady 2 blocks from our elem who does daycare. She doesn't drive, but has a niece who walks the kids to and from.

She babysat my niece for 3 yrs before school started. And is excellent.

ALSO - the school may have a before/after hours care program. And the local Y usually does too.

Just ideas.

 

[Andy]

If you get responses from your ad, make sure you check every single reference. Follow your instincts - if you are unsure - don't go for it.

Oh my, the stories the lady easy child babysits for tells of interviews she had before finding easy child! I also have had people you wouldn't leave a child with looking for a job babysitting when I was looking. At least your difficult child is old enough to tell you things - I cringe to think of the babies who can not talk being in some of these homes.

I like the idea of calling a local college. One on one is the best way to go.

 

[Jena]

kt that's a good idea. i posted an ad on the local website for the town already. college is a good idea. someone studying early childhood/Special Education. hmmm thanks!! Shari - after seeing what easy child is up to i'm afraid to grab one of the local kids here lol.

susie thanks, i'm going to do the college thing that was suggested.

i'm more concerned about working my schedule out with-the new job and if they'll be willing to take me now. i think in time i'll find someone for her. yet this was temporary due to them. only first mos out of training. it's just ridiculous that someone would cancel like that soo last min.

 

[Jena]

andy we must of been writing at the same time. oh believe me i know ihave some horror stories myself from when easy child was a baby. one woman who i hired i managed restaraunts at the time so my hours were weird. i'd leave at 3 p.m. everyday and get back after she was sleeping. so most of our day was spent together. this one woman totally checked out. little did i knwo she had just lost a baby before being hired by me. she grew very attached to easy child. was excellent to her, just wanted her to be her child and not mine.

it was pretty intense. i couldn't find easy child one day and everyday i had the schedule written down, etc. long story short it took me at their door in the middle of the night with a bat in hand and the cops on their way. she had easy child sleeping over at her house with-o asking me first. wouldnt' answer my calls, nothing. there was no abuse thank good ness. it didn't stop there her husband stalked me at the rest. once i brought my family in to watch easy child and paid them, it was a year of sheer torture waht they did to me.

so apprehensive yes bigtime. especially with difficult child who has an illness.