I really hate this. I have permanent changes to my body from steroids. They will never go away, so it takes a lot for me to go back on steroids. But, they're the only real option I have right now. I've been running a fever for at least a month - maybe more. Everything hurts. Not a high level of pain - just a constant, never goes away, never eases, can't get comfortable no matter what, radiating, kinda pain. And the fever takes everything out of me. And then there's the stupid stuff. Like I threw the phone away last night. In front of witnesses, too. You don't run fevers with fibro or chronic fatigue and I've been doing fevers for years. The last time I ran one, it was for 3-4 months straight. More than anything else in the world, I want to know what is going on with me so we can treat it. My mom has put her house on the market. Supporting me is hitting their savings hard - or rather, what they would be putting into their savings. She doesn't want to sell her house, but they need to downsize. And it's all because of me. I feel so incredibly guilty about that and there's not a damn thing I can do. I feel so helpless and I hate how my health is impacting everyone else. Never in a million years would I have seen my life end up in this direction. I had goals...plans. I see therapist tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to talk about. I am so exhausted. I just don't have the physical or mental energy to go into much. I'm just numb. Thanks for listening.